ilusi hidup menjadi bayangan sementara..

EXAMINATION BLUES! =D

2010-02-24T04:43:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

In 5 hours time is my first of my last 2 exam papers. HEHEH!

IMMUNOLOGY! the bane of all subjects! =(

just pray that all goes well aites! hehe..

just dropping by to lend some encouragement to me! hehe

diana..
*twinKLES

randomning around.

2010-02-20T04:16:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

its 4.16am in the morning and i am up..doing my long-delayed homework.. =( i dunno why, i am just unmotivated to do my work..guess its the 3rd-yr graduation syndrome..hehe..its when u get into ur final yr, and u just wanna get it over and done with so u dun give a damn for assignments animore..

unfortunately, this assignment is important.. =(( so no excuse not to do it..

and one of my lecturer also called me up about my formal report and datasheet..sighhhh.... =(((

have to do it by monday...

hahax..

niwaes, to put those dire boring things out of the way, i do have some interesting stories to type about..

firstly would be,
i am given the go ahead for another trip to India! =))
and its fully-subsidised again! YAY!
so its like..a volunteer work with an added incentive..
hehe..
and i do need the break..
so many things have been gg thru my mind again...

niwaes, classes have ended *yay! but at the same time, i am already missing school like shyt!*

so i am left wit 2 more exam papers before officially graduating from polytechnic!

*reminiscing again*
still rmb the first day of school..
the orientation day..in which i remember during the first wk of school, most of my time was spent trying to find my classes... *snickers*
and those friends i have made..not oni classmates but schoolmates whom i always smiled and waved at...i will miss them...
those events i participated in school..and also in various camps... *sobs*

seriously, polytechnic was a huge chapter of my life...
so many UPS (for eg, those camps i attended, events i organised, having eye candies, getting att to one of the best boyfriend ever, making new friends that i believe would last,etc) and DOWNS (that dark chapter in my life..which i would rather not talk about... =''(...) and if ever anione asked me whether i regretted choosing this path instead of JC (in which majority of friends think i should have chosen..) i would always say,'NO!'

well..its cos, poly widened my horizons...gave me invaluable lessons and experiences which i believe i can nvr ever get from joining jc...

so soon, this chapter of my life would end..

next would be,
the REAL world..

=========================================================

niwaes,
back to other topics..

i came clean with wiwin...
and i dared wiwin to intro me to a guy who wud never ever take advantage of a girl..
and he said..its just a matter of finding the right one..and where would i find that kind of a guy? *laughs sarcastically* and he said...well..trust me..there are...and i said..trust you? hahahahahahahahah...

sorry wiwin..
been through too many shyt..i dunnoe how to gain back this trust with guys..

but hopefully insya'Allah i will meet one honourable guy..

maybe zan is that guy...
maybe not..

cos he has been trying his best to own my heart..but still not gd enuf..cos i am just afraid lar...
until when, i dunnoe..but one day mabe the truth will shine.. =)

===========================================================

and i had loads of fun too! =))
especially with friends..
primary school friends,
secondary school friends,
volunteer friends,
polytechnic friends,
internet friends..

that i dunno where to start..=P
hehe..

so well..
just to keep it short and sweet, i just had loads of fun! =))))

diana..
*twinKLEs

*life isnt as bleak as i had thought. alhamdulillah.. =D

no, i have moved on.

2010-02-09T03:35:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

had an awesome weekend although it was kinda tiring..
haha..

on saturday, helped out Mendaki as a volunteer childminder with Zaya and a new girl, Aisyah..hehe..instead of minding children, we were left to mind our boredom as no siblings came..hehe..so well..as per usual, diana is up to her talkative and merepek self..cant believe that aisyah could stand me lar..hehe..

niwaes, i managed to promote Mendaki to her! hehe..
hopefully she would join us as a true volunteer to Mendaki soon! hehe..

well..
aft the volunteering, me and Zaya had an awesome advanced Valentine's day celebration! muakakaka..together, we spent the evening at Lot1.the place where we shared alot of memories... =))) and then we had brownies with ice cream and chicken caesar salad at Jalapeno's Express! AWWEEESSOOOMMMEE food! hehe.. so shweet sey zaya..hehehe..hope uzair tk jealous lar yek..hehe..

to continue on..

Sunday, i had two engagement parties to attend..one of my mum's fren's daughter aka brother's teacher from sch and another one is my own cousin! hehe..

the first engagement party was kinda elaborate..the feast that was prepared was very very sumptuous! i think its cos the lady getting engaged is the first granddaughter to get engaged so its kinda elaborate..hehe..

whereas for my cuz, its just simple..with only immediate relatives invited..but it was still a very festive and happy moment for all of us..since its like my first cuz who is getting engaged! haha..i was teased as i am the one who mostly helped my auntie..my other aunties kept saying that next would be me..

like..uhhh..okay..so who would i be engaged to? the wall? haha..no bfs so no comments lar..haha..and i cant believe that my relatives still remember my Ex! haha..so funny lar..when they asked me abt Helmie..i just said that we were not meant to be..

but i tell u, after the weekend, i feel like i have gained 2 kgs lar! hehehe..oh well..nvm..

niwaes,
talking abt Helmie, yest was his bdae..and i just wished him..haha..he replied: Thanks so much Diana..

i wonder..is that sarcasm or not? hehe..niwaes, i just give it a benefit of doubt lar..hehe..

till then..

CNY is coming! hehehe..

MORE HOLIDAYS!!

diana..
*twinKLEs

stoppit idiot!

2010-02-04T01:05:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

i am confused..
less than a month till graduation!
no job prospects..
and more problems..
think that the first thing i would do is go for a long vacation..

sigh..

tried contacting back shukri to apologise him for my mistake..but he is like...not caring to reply me nimore..
=(
i feel so disheartened but Abang Raden keep telling me to never give up..
but i feel so sad and guilty...

Sorry shukri for hurting your feelings..i would do anything to have you back as my friend. You give me hope to change for the better...you make me smile each time you msg me..i wish to feel like that again..its so weird that i havent even met you but i like ur presence in my life..i really hope you could forgive me and give me a second chance to be your friend..

please.. ='(

and to that person, anon who is smearing my tagboard, please stop doing so. thank you.

diana..
*twinKLEs

one of those unexpected days.

2010-01-31T00:10:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

already yesterday was such a cork-up, todae was like no better..
=(

yesterday was my FYP's presentation was such a letdown..
well..cos i had a minor cork-up during my part for the presentation..and subsequently, Q and A sealed my grp's fate that our FYP was like a major failure..esp for me, cos well, most of the questions were like..aimed at me..and imagine having that feeling that the 7 lecturers who attended the presentation do not seem to understand what the heck was explained..

i really dunnoe whether to laugh or cry..
hahax...

niwaes, met up with mas after fyp presentation..and laughed over a cup of awesome ice-cream..haha..those kind of moments should be done more often..haha..let my tudung down..hahaha...

and i was supposed to have a great outing today with a certain someone..but he cancelled at the last minute cos his bike needed servicing..kurang peh asam! haha..and then someone smsed me..

who else?

yan.

saying of what recently happened to him.
and that he needed my help.

sigh
again.

why cant these kind of guys just avoid me like plague?

sigh.

and well, was listening to some jiwang songs and started to cry. why? cos i was just like thinking..how awesome isit to be loved, cherished, treasured, missed, taken care of...and why cant i feel it? why isit always so temporary..? and then i feel like i lost more.. ='(

and whenever this happens, someone would remind me that zan is there, yan is there..but think about it, if i had wanted to fall for any of them, i wud haf a long time ago..not now..

and then i would rethink again that i dunnid love now..

haha..

and then that is that...

someone commented again that i nid to stop perah minyak, or stop being irritating lar..

and i cant help thinking that if i change, it wont change anything. seriously. i have tried so many things but, its all in vain..so yeah..i seriously think i dunnid to care abt all this now..

but, thank god for the dinner just now with family..at least a change of mood..hahax..it was a simple dinner at Bisro Delifrance to celebrate sister's bdae! haha..had an awesome array of food and also many2 pics which i am not gg to upload yet..haha..

so yeah...that is all for today..hahax...

diana..
*twinKLes

wanna move on.

2010-01-27T22:30:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

each day i smile, i laugh, i chat, i join in all the activities just to distract myself. just to make sure no one is worried about me. just to show that i am okay. but deep down i am not. deep down i am always worried about my sis, about my studies..

its easy to shrug it off or laugh it off..but its sumthing that keeps hanging on at the back of my mind..begging me to solve it..to ease the pain and the burden...

sigh..

one day it will all be over insya'Allah..

and when it does, the real Diana would be twinkling again!
=D

but currently, Eminem, make me smile..hehe..

diana..
*twinkLEs

it is starting again...

2010-01-25T03:42:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

i had thought that my sister's problems have already been solved ages ago..but it seems now that it was never over..it was just how my sister kept all the feelings bottled up before finally after all the pressure cannot be kept in then she explodes and in the midst of her exploding, hurt everyone in the family.

i seriously do not understand why is her mentality is so corked-up, why can't she be mature and why can't she stop blaming others for everything?

sigh. I am at my wit's end with my sister. seriously.
i care for her so much, but she mistook it for me being sarcastic. it is very very irritating.

she doesnt know that behind her, when i do talk abt her to my friends, i was always full of praises although sumtimes its mixed with disappointment becos my sister does not realise this. she keeps thinking i am putting her down when i am not. she just has that sick idea that i am always trying to shut her out from my life. she keeps thinking i think of her as sumone who is so bad, good-for-nothing, etc2 when i dont think so. it hurts me alot whenever she accuses me of all that. and the bigger problem is that, when i try to explain, she doesnt want to listen.

sigh.

and now the matter is getting bigger cos it now involves the whole family. it must feel weird to have 5 ppl against one person...and i know my sister feels helpless and horrible..but i dunnoe how else to talk to her..i have practically given up..but now that i get to noe that my aunt is trying to get into the problem, i think that there might be something that can be done..

i really hope all this will end soon. its affecting every single person in the family. =(

diana..
*twiNKLes

report fatigue

2010-01-07T18:09:00.004+08:00

Dear Bloggy,

Currently, I am suffering from 'Report Fatigue'..What's that? Some might ask, well..it is when someone suffers from fatigue when pressured to do reports that are due every single week! Hehe..Well..I have two reports that are currently on my mind...One is none other than my Final Year Project (FYP) while the other is my Hybridoma Formal Report; based on 2 experiments done during practical.

But, I have to thank having this busy schedule since I do not spend my time thinking about other mundane, non-important stuff such as BGR..I have really had it with guys and based on my needs which is more important than my wants, I realised that I do NOT NEED guys... =) so for now, SINGLEHOOD please! and for those guys who have rudely intruded into my life, scarred my heart and left me to cry, SHAME ON YOU! for being a sweet-talker, seducer, men of no promises..etc2...i refer this to: Shukri, Adi and..anyone else for doing that to me..

And to hurt your ego more, I would not give you the pleasure to see me hurt or cry..In fact, I am going to smile and laugh at your face (if ever I get the chance since I know you are cowards to face me! =D)

Lastly, my computer and telephone are having problems so it would be some time till I regularly update my blog...

diana..
*twinKLes

SICK OF REPORTS!

2009-12-24T22:24:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

i have never ever felt so sick in my life! never ever haf i felt sick both mentally and physically..
for the past month, i was plagued by diarrhoea, vomiting, fever + sprained ankle and currently i think is muscle fatigue...

cant blame anione though..cos i dunnoe hu to blame..i dunnoe why in the world did i get vomiting and diarrhoea in the first place and well..fever is normal right? haha..and its another whole story for my sprained ankle..haha..stupid embarrassing moment for me..haha...but well..becos of the sprained ankle, both my legs are VERY VERY VERY tired..hahaha...training camp didnt help cos i got even more tired.. + sum bruises from mini IVP.. and well...thruout all this, i had FYP!

URGH! seriously..ppl kept telling me that FYP is teruk lar..etc2..but i didnt believe it until i am experiencing it..and FYP is causing me mental fatigue..cos i always have to think and think and type and think againa and type again..SHUCKS! especially doing the images is really tiring and strains my eyes...SIGHS!

thank God a fren of mine commented to me when i was lamenting to him..he said that if u have survived nearly 3 yrs in poly with all the shit thrown at u, why cant u survive the next 3 mths rite? haha..thanks fren for that awesome advice..haha...

but still..a few more reports to go and a FINAL YR PROJECT PRESENTATION + FINAL YR EXAMS before i graduate aites! and that is scarrrryyy..haha..

but till then..
i noe i am strong enuf to face any shit that my life is gonna throw to me! =P

diana..
*twinKLes

finally i am back!

2009-12-13T17:26:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

I MISS YOU! but i know you are very happy and busy now. I am happy to know that you are happy, wherever you are.. =) sometimes the memories we had together do play back in my mind..but i do know that that is all in the past.. I will pray for your happiness always..do take care...

UPDATES!

2009-11-04T20:36:00.005+08:00

Dear bloggy...

On the 18th October, my silat friends had organised a surprise birthday outing for both me and Hadi, another pesilat whose birthday falls on the 18th..it was a simple surprise actually..just a late lunch at Popeye's at the Singapore Flyer followed by a birthday cake bought from the Royals; Choco Nutella! AWESOME cake! hehe..
Anyways, here are the pictures! Enjoy!

hehe..

Another event not to be missed was the Dinner and Dance organised by TSC for the IVP 2009 participants. It was an AWESOME event since the theme was Retro Masquerade and most wore masks (unlike me. Haha)It was on the 24th October and was located at Lagun Sari Wedding and Catering Services at Joo Chiat road (hate the location though. Somewhere in the middle of red light district. =() Anyways, here are the pictures! So enjoy! Anymore pictures would be updated later.. hehe..

For those who remembered what happened after DnD, please refrain from laughing aites! hehe..
I think that is all then..

diana..
*twINKLES

Need a change

2009-10-30T23:38:00.004+08:00

Dear bloggy..

Recently I have been checking out other blogs and I realised that I need a change. My usage of the English language have gone from awesome to horrible! I bet that should Ms Lee ever comes across my blog, the first thing that will go through her mind would be, "I didn't remember teaching her all these...I don't think I know her.."

Hehe..

Also, I am also studying a module that emphasises the usage of proper English which is Communication Skills for Work. In this module, I learn how to do email correspondence, write resumes and also to handle interviews.My lecturer has been telling me time and again how important that what we say, write or do must not be misunderstood by others so well, I thought that just maybe readers of my blog might have misunderstood whatever I posted up thus having the wrong judgement of me. So, I am planning to write using proper English or should I post in Malay, I should write in proper Malay so I would be understood. I apologise though to those readers who might not understand when I post in proper English or Malay. It is for the best interest of the majority people who might read my blog.

I guess that is all for now. It is early here and I need my rest. =)

diana..
*twinKLEs

wonders..

2009-10-30T04:29:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy...

nt many things have been posted up and its all due to my hectic life..
furthermore, i dunnoe what to post up..
haha..
esp for my bdae post..

well..i cant blame my own self that i wished that for this yr, i didnt want to celebrate although i had big plans waaaaaaayy before this..
i still rmbered last yr when i celebrated my 18th bdae, i got att to mus..and he had promised that my 19th would be more memorable than my 18th..and i had kept that promise since i really treasure my 19th bdae..19 is my fave no and 19 is my last teen yr before i reach the age of 20...my 19th birthday would have been perfect if i was still attached and me and my friends and family arent having any complications...sigh..

i am not gonna blame my ex for watever happened cos it has happened and he is very much happy now since he has moved on...

anyways,
for my bdae, i had a bdae surprise by my pesilat frens at flyer where we had lunch at popeye's hehe...and of course, another bdae surprise by my family at my uncle's house..although it wasnt grand, those celebrations reminded me that i still have those who cares abt me..alot...and will nvr leave me high and dry..
to these persons involved: THANKS SO MUCH! =) i love you all aites...

school has been pretty busy since its my last sem in sch...
as much as i am excited to enter the real world, i am sad to let go of those sweet times i had in school..all those friends i haf met and those who i am gg to leave one day...

project is taking up most of my worry because i hate the major presentation at the end..haha..but overall...i think my studies is doing quite well.... =) hehe..
my silat is doing great! haha..i am proud to see how much silat club has expanded and achieved to be a club that is getting known in school.. =) so happy abt it since silat club is my baby..hehe..

hmm..
love life: still no replacement for my ex for now..though i haf had a couple of guys who haf expressed their interest in me..and i did say to wait till i grad..haha..
so yeah..take it with a pinch of salt when i say i am single but unavailable..

gtg now..

diana..
*twinKLEs

Happy 19th Birthday Diana..hehe..

2009-10-19T18:55:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

its my bdae! its my bdae! hehe..so yesh..HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY TO ME! hehehe..

where is the love?

2009-10-12T09:14:00.003+08:00

dear bloggy...

i know that i didnt update much this past month..well..its syawal niwaes, so do forgive me..
hmm..now where shud i start with this post? hehe..

okay2...what abt preparation for syawal?
hehe..
well..so u see..
for syawal, alot of preparations have to be done..but for me and my family..it was low-key unlike previous years..especially abt gg to geylang up to 5-6 times...this yr, we oni went 3 times..and once was just so-called recce for items..haha..
but it was a busy month for me during ramadhan..because i had fyp..and meetings...and well..practically everyday someone wants me to break fast with them...
it was tiring okay... =S

niwaes, this yr..my family's colour theme was grey and green..haha..i mean, one suit was a grey and black kebaya while the green suit is a mini kurung aka kurung moden..the grey one didnt take that long to find since it was tailored, but the green one took forever for me to find a suitable one..cos well..my dearest mummy didnt like the ones i chose..she said it was too tight, too transparent, no lining, too expensive..haha..but luckily found one which she was agreeable with..

and for me, its a MUST for me to get a henna each time for syawal..well...cos its the oni time i can wear henna without ppl asking me why i do so..but i hate it whenever ppl say its not in our culture to do so..so heck it lar! i like it..and no one can make me change my decision...so i did one with the help of my mum's friend's daughter who does it so beautifully..hehe..and every yr i go to her to do henna for me..hehe..

this yr...instead of spending first day of syawal in singapore..my whole family together with my 1st and 2nd paternal uncles spent it in malaysia..in my paternal kampung..in tangkak and we also went to melaka to my uncle's wife's kampung in melaka..all the visiting in 2 days...TIRING okay! for the first day..my family was in blue...while on the second..we were in gold..hehe..all in all..i had fun in kampung..cos i get to isit my relatives there whom i rarely meet..and of course me and my cuzzins get to play firecrackers! which are banned in singapore..hehe..

apart from my meetings that are always ongoing, i still make time for jalan raya (visiting) with frens too...up to date..i have gone with my dbt frens, with my msg frens, my pri sch frens and my silat frens! hehe..had planned to go with my besties and my ex-madrasah frens..but we are always2 busy..so maybe we haf to forgo it..this past wk was the most tiring as i had went for visiting for 5 days straight! i even hurt my butt when i fell during a visit to johore..but i think i haf to give credit to my poor, sore, aching feet..cos i went visiting in high heels which is something i rarely do..hehe..

lastly...a few things did happened during this past mth too...abt love life i mean..
well..i haf made up my mind to stay single until i grad..though i had to hurt sumone's feelings..i think its still for the better...
so till then ppl..celebrate till syawal ends!

and STOP SAYING,' JALAN RAYA IS SO BASI (STALE)!'
u noe what i mean rite..

cos well..the idea of jalan raya is to visit ppl whom u rarely meet..esp those relatives who u meet once a yr..so its not ever BASI to visit these ppl..WHY? cos...we are encouraged to strengthen ties btwn fellow muslims and nvr ever to severe ties with anyone..and to me..this applies to non-muslim frens too..
and if ever anione is gg to debate with me abt the fact that Hari Raya is oni for a day...i think, u guys are delusional..cos well..i think u guys just dun grasp the true meaning of Syawal..maybe u guys are just thinking of getting the green packets or dreading giving out the green packets since most of u guys who said this are working adults..SHAME ON YOU!

niwaes...i have said my point..up to u if u want to comment or not..

diana..
*twinKLEs

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri!

2009-09-23T16:06:00.004+08:00

dear bloggy..

20th September marks the beginning of a victory over the obstacles faced during Ramadhan..it marks the starting of Syawal..another month full of blessings and joy to Muslims worldwide..fyi...for other countries, Hari Raya could be known as Eid Mubarak..

and like every other celebrations, alot of preparations have to be done before the day itself..so its really very tiring..but the fun and happiness that happens on the day itself is undescribable..

niwaes, i cant type much..hehe..i would upload the pics soon though...

and a Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to all Muslims! =)

diana..
*twinKLEs

Night of Power - Lailatul Qadr

2009-09-13T23:16:00.005+08:00

Duhai remaja...
Walau melangit tinggi dosa yang pernah kau lakukan..
Walau seluas bumi kesalahan yang pernah kau khilafkan..
Selagi mana kau tidak pernah syirik kepadaNya..
Nescaya Allah swt akan mengampuni segala dosa-dosa mu..
Dari itu, bertaubatlah kamu semua kepada Allah swt...

dear bloggy..
on the 12th September..i actually participated in Night Of Power(NOP)..
and the experience that i went through was awesome...
i just dunnoe how to describe the feelings i felt that night..
honestly, i wasnt really excited for the event since i always felt like an outsider whenever i joined such events..

but well..
everything was awesome from the icebreaking games..hehe..
next was break fasting and prayers before more games, introduction of the Ramadhan Youth Camps(RYC) *where i met with an old fren..haha!*
and after terawih prayers, we had Taddarrus Al-Qur'an where we khatam-ed Quran..i found that this programme was really a calming one..since everyone was concentrating on reading and finishing it..and for me, it has been quite sum time since i read the Al-Qur'an...

next was supper before the midnight event which was CPR: Cakap Pasal Remaja (Talking About Teenagers)..the sketch that was shown was really2 close to my heart cause i am gg thru it..and the plot was about remembering and appreciating Rasulullah saw..sigh..

but of course, the programme which i really2 love the most was Surat Cinta: Love Letter..which was about reading the Al-Qur'an..and that programme was the oni one which made me cry in the end..cos well..watever the Ustad said during that programme was really inspiring...he made me reflect on all the sins i have done in my life..and what i could have done or what i could do now...and well..
everyone else cried too during that programme..

lastly was Qiyammulail..and although i was sleepy since we had min sleep..but i know i learnt alot from this event..alhamdulillah..

and that poem at the top is from that programme..

sigh..

now i am more resolved than ever to change for the better! it really made sense that my judgement in being single is not wrong if its for the better of me in seeking His forgiveness and His blessings..i believe that He would help me to get through life and He knows best who is the best person to be with me..i dun nid ppl who cant understand this to hamper my dream of becoming a better human and a better Muslimah..

i hope all my prayers during this Ramadhan would be fulfilled..insyaallah..

sigh..

Ramadhan is ending soon..but i dun feel that the one month is enough to help me change...i felt that i nid more time to change...and sumhow day after day i get worried that i wont get to meet Ramadhan again..and that really scares me..
i dun even care if Syawal is not as great as previous years..as long as i really appreciate this Ramadhan..

sigh..

niwaes, with Syawal coming soon, i would love to wish all Muslims, a Happy Eid Mubarak...

=)

btw, a song i heard during the sketch dat made me wish i can get a good guy as my husband.. =)

diana..
*twinKLEs

semoga semua dpt memperolehi hidayah dari Dia yang Maha Kuasa..Amin

2009-09-09T22:24:00.000+08:00

dear bloggy..

hehe..an old song which i love..hehe..

diana..
*twinKLEs

a new chapter..

2009-09-05T12:33:00.000+08:00

dear bloggy..

its a new chapter for me..and i DEMAND to change my own self..i dun wan to be brought down again by my own folly and mistakes..

and i am sorry if some ppl cant accept that..

but i am serious that i wanna prove it..

so well..i wont want to dwell on my past..it was enough crying over it..

so yeah..

just wanna enjoy life now..with no strings attached.. =)

insyallah..

i hope my prayers for this month will be answered.. amin..

aites..i haf to go and make sum changes in life now..

take care peeps..

diana..
*twinKLEs

ps: check out this video..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCC_b5WHLX0

its what i think i should do from now...

2009-08-28T13:35:00.000+08:00

dear bloggy..

i wont judge my decision of breaking up with u nimore..i know that it wasnt fair to leave u at such a time but i just dun wanna continue a relationship that to me does not help me to change.

i need to change. i yearn to change. i dun wanna stay like this forever.

though i had told ppl i had changed, but that change is not enuf. i really wanna change for the better and u cudnt help me. so i am sorry.

niwaes, its better like this since i can then focus on my studies, etc.

and well..since we broke up, so many stuffs i haf heard from other ppl..and i know i cant easily believe them..but knowing that such things do exist just make me think that u werent who i expected u to be..

maybe u shud haf just come clean with me when we first met.

i would have been much happier.

take care.

i haf other problems to think about rather than just abt u.

===============================================================

exams are ongoing and to tell u the truth, i haf no faith in passing the first two papers. even if i do, i dun haf the faith i would pass overall..sumhow i expect myself to repeat my final sem..sucky aint it?

but ramadhan is gg fine..insyaallah i will fast for this whole month without fail..and i hope so too.. =) so that i wont have to think of paying back my fast in the months to come..

i really agree that this month does help me in changing to become sumone better.. =)
i am still trying to be more patient, understanding, hardworking, focused and organised..

i am also gonna prove during raya that i can be as pretty, as nice, as gorgeous..as i like..haha..without having to prove to guys that i need to be tall, beautiful, etc2..

haha..

i am still trying to work on my self-esteem which has been hurt so much by other insensitive people's actions..

so yeah, my aim is to be a better person mentally and physically..insyaallah things would work out..

amin..

gotta go now and study..
=)

diana..
*twinKLEs

thanks peeeeps!

2009-08-05T08:46:00.000+08:00

2009-08-02T23:02:00.000+08:00

dear bloggy..

this post will only be dedicated to that one person whom i once cared and cherished so much..u know who u are and i just dun wanna name u cos u dun deserved to be named..

when u first met me, u said i was sweet and u are lucky to have met me..u said that u just cant help feel happy and excited each time i contacted u..and on the 11th of April, u got onto one knee and said that you will nvr leave me, will always love me and take care of me..u were the one who said that even if mas is pretty or sweet or whatever, you love me and not her..

BUT WHY MUST U THROW IT ALL BACK TO MY FACE AND TEAR MY HEART APART?
do u know, u must be one of the most EVIL, HEARTLESS guy i have ever met in my life..i thought that azmi was bad enuf..but u are worst, cos u made me hope, fall for u, sacrificed practically everything for u..AND WHAT DID I GET IN THE END? hurt, pain, anger, disappointment, embarrassment..

how could you ever ever ever compare me to another person? it was bad enuf u compared me to dayah once upon a time by saying that i shud be as religious as her...but u did it again on the 29th July..by comparing me to MAS! MASSSSSSSS???!! after that time u assured me that u and mas had nothing to do with each other after i got to know abt ur past history, i believed u..but getting to know that u said that MAS is prettier and sweeter than me really hit me in the gut..when i heard that from not oni Mas but also from Audi, that was the last straw..

that was why i asked for the break-up..cos i cant believe that u said that to her...and i cant ever believe anything else that u haf ever said to me..

now i keep questioning whether whatever you have ever done for me isit sincere? or was it just a farce to cover up for your feelings for other girls? sigh..you cant imagine how much i haf cried or how much pai i haf gone thru..

you said i didnt understand you and i broke my promise..

what do u mean by me not understanding you? i think, not many girls would have stick to you if they had a chance..you were married to your work and well, i was warned beforehand abt it but what i didnt expect is your indifference towards whatever i msged you..other gfs would have complained that they feel neglected and didnt have the chance to talk to u when it is their right to do so..but me, i was so afraid to call or msg you cos i didnt want to disturb you or trouble you..

and you said i didnt understand you? well..the reason i didnt msg u as often as i did was cos i was pissed off at u..i felt as though u didnt even care if i msged u or not..i dun believe in sumone being too busy that they cant spare a few minutes to reply..i thought u hadnt noticed that i didnt msg u as often but u did..so well..that kinda opened up my heart during our last conversation..but well, i guess we were just not meant to be..

you also didnt understand me..u didnt understand what the hell i was gg thru..maybe the part that my studies were slackening cos of u was true..but if u had known, u wud haf put in more effort to know why i was gg thru it and help each other through these trying times..seriously, sumtimes i feel as though i haf a communication problem with you cos i just cant open up everything that is bottled up in my heart..

you said i broke my promise? well, you broke so many promises with me that i haf lost count..you said i broke my promise abt quitting silat aft my competition..well..yes..that is true..cos i just felt that i cud haf done better for my competition and i knew that i cud do better next yr..i am sorry okay..but u dun understand this part of my life..i love silat.its my hobby and passion..and that is the oni thing it wud ever be..i already promised umi and abi i would quit silat aft poly so well, if umi and abi can understand me, why cant you? you urself keep saying i shud lose weight and get fit..and well, silat is helping me out..silat was also the reason i get to meet you when i was still getting to know u..u shud be thankful for whatever silat has helped me..

silat has given me the opportunity to fill up my time and to enjoy myself..is that too bad? too bad that you had to say that silat makes me so busy that i haf no time for you..? pls k..whenever you ask me to meet u, and if i haf silat training, i sacrifice my training to meet you okay..so stop bullshitting and make more excuses..

i haf sacrificed so many things to make you happy.
i sacrificed my frenships with most of my guy frens..
i sacrificed my time to be with you..
i sacrificed most of my effort to help you out in any way shud u nid my help..
i sacrificed my dignity and face to make umi abi accept you..

seriously, i deserve to get mad at you.

you were so selfish to not care abt my feelings and also for my loved ones feelings..did u know how hurt dinah is becos of wat u did? i saw her expression and what i cud do was to tell her to not hate you..

maybe there is a reason behind watever that has happened..

i wont deny that..

and i am happy that we broke up now rather than later after my birthday..

thanks for the false hope and love you gave to me..and also for the effort you put in for my bdae..
no worries, i wud make a grander bdae celebration for me and my loved ones..

I DUNNID YOU.

take care and haf a great life.

diana..
*twinKLEs

ps: btw, this song is esp for you.

Rauzan and The Urban Sensation ft. Roze-Kasih mengapa.mp3 -

stuffs in my life

2009-07-27T09:21:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

last week was really one of THE worst weeks i ever had in my life! well..to start off, blogger was down..so i cant post up ANYTHING..and i really mean ANYTHING! urgh! and well.more things keep piling up due to my laziness..and well..as much as i like to complain, i haf to say 'serve you right' to my own self..sigh..oh..and last wk, one of the worst things happened when i had a major argument with my dad..which i wont tell you what but it made me cry to sleep...and to make it more painful, helmie didnt seemed to care..cos he just smsed me like nothing ever happened...sigh...

saturday didnt went as planned as everything corked-up..i didnt manage to watch the full performance done by my silat frens..and in the end, i watched the fireworks alone..as i cudnt find my family members in time..as much as i enjoyed watching those awesome fireworks, i still felt sad and lonely..cos well..i cudnt spend the time with bf..and well..bf just aint responding to me..

sigh..

i did ask..oh well..just haf to move on i guess...

will update more in times to come..

diana..
*twinKLEs

2009-07-16T23:01:00.003+08:00

dear bloggy...
today is a special day for a special someone..
its my youngest baby sister's birthday..
guess how old is she?
FOURTEEN
lar sey
hehe.

hehe..

may all ur wishes come true..may you always be happy dearest sis..rmb all my advice aites..and insyallah, ur life would be blessed..amin..

and though i might not say this, I LOVE YOU! hehe..

diana..
*twinKLEs

see? like i should say i told myself so. haha

2009-07-13T23:07:00.003+08:00

dear bloggy..

today wasnt that great i guess. i got stressed up cos i cudnt finish my report on time and well..things just seem to keep on piling..not only that, i got back 3 papers oreadi..i failed 2 papers by just a few marks and well...i should be happy that i passed one paper but still..i fail is still a fail no matter how marginal it is..sigh..

i also got an email from my SIFE supervisor like..today..stating that i haf to pay $82.95 for my 3 trips to batam! like OMFG! its like damn freaking last minute! how in the world am i supposed to get the money from? from the money tree i guess.. hah.. shucks..now i guess i haf to get the money from umi..cos i noe abi is broke! sigh..

and to conclude my mood for the day, i happened to take one of the idiotic quizzes at fb and this were my results..btw, the quiz title is: the meaning behind your name.

and though i am not supposed to believe in these quizzes, sumhow, the results really got me thinking..

Nama DIANA SYAHIDAYU

Mengandung Arti:
- Keteguhan, kebijaksanaan, pengaruh dan kekuasaan (strongwill, smart,influential and power)
- Durjana/tidak beribadah (doesnt pray)
- Orang yang religius dan bersifat keagamaan (religious and pious)
- Kesesatan dan kedukaan (lost and sadness)

tell me..arent the characteristics like..contradicting? well..so does that make it a neutral thingy..like..the first and third point are positive traits while the other two is negative traits..so 2 positives and 2 negatives make it a neutral rite? haha..okay..now i know i am getting ridiculous..forgive me readers..

and well..that's all in the daily life of diana..

oh btw, thanks darling syaz for meeting me up today..i do nid a gf to share my probs wif..haha..u did make me smile today..thanks alot babes! hehe..

so thanks for reading today..hehe

diana..
*twinKLEs

see? like i should say i told myself so. haha

2009-07-13T23:07:00.000+08:00

Nama DIANA SYAHIDAYU

Mengandung Arti:
- Keteguhan, kebijaksanaan, pengaruh dan kekuasaan
- Durjana/tidak beribadah
- Orang yang religius dan bersifat keagamaan
- Kesesatan dan kedukaan

2009-07-13T11:08:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

i think i need immediate help. i think i really need it. i need the motivation to change for the better. but i feel that i am really not getting any. i can't think of anything that can motivate me. music cant change me, sound advice from my godbro and some of my frens can't change me. how? i really am feeling at a loss here. i badly need a hug and some encouragement. but i still cant get it. not with bf working and busy. i don't think he knows about this. and i wish he doesnt know because it would affect his work. damn. am i being selfish or am i being protective? now i am confused. friends have told me to talk to bf but i am very reluctant to do so..sigh..

ayah, i need you now. i need your care and attention now. i don't want it from anyone else. because i know that even if i get it from someone else, its only temporary..and i believe that they have other ulterior motives behind those sound advice and attention they shower upon me..ayah..pls..listen to me.. =(

diana..
*twinKLEs

2009-07-11T21:50:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

back to my crazy old self..but oni wif those that knows me well..haha..
i mean, i am still as outgoing..but am more toned down somewhat..
niwaes, i did sumthing which i didnt even think i wud do..which is to wear PINK! haha! diana and pink is just not normal..since i only wear pink on certain occasions..which is when i haf to wear my pink kebaya or pink kurung..hehe..so well, when on thurs, i wore my pink skirt and pink tudung to sch, of course some of my frens commented..hehe..they said that its very rare to see me in pink..but it was really fun being different for once in a while..hehe

and when i am really happy now..nothing can make me upset..cos well..just now my aunt came over to my house and one of the things she asked me was, 'how is ur bf?' haha..and i just cudnt help but smile and share all the stories abt him..hehe..

so yeah..thats all i guess..
hehe..wanna go and sing summore songs..oh and dance to it too..hehe..

diana..
*twinKLEs

2009-07-09T21:59:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

there are so many things i would like to type here..yet, i dunnoe where to start. my mixed feelings are not helping either. sigh.

okay. so let me begin.

school has just opened..so well, i had my mid-semester tests..last week..and i dunnoe why in the world i was not even the least bit worried about it. i studied but it was half-hearted. my mind was only set on just finishing the paper. but when the paper ended, the only thing in my mind was, ' DAYMN! i cud have done better IF i had studied better.' IF and only IF. so well, as per usual, i am going thru the same cycle of regretting not studying (but still, wont change for the better.. =S) thus causing me to become crankier than usual..(and..if uzair is reading this, he would say: diana, you are not being fair to yourself. you have to change. - psst..uzair..i am trying ni.. =))

so well..i haf to apolgise to some ppl for my crankiness..firstly, to boyfie..i know ur busy-ness is worst than the busy bee..and i am really trying to understand ur work and the commitment u put to it..i know i haf to trust you and nvr ever doubt u..niwaes, ayah, i miss you too much! and i love you more than you would ever know..and the oni way i can show that is by either msging you, or irritating you..which, i know i am guilty of..sorry darling..i try not to be as cranky..(esp when it comes to that time of the month..) hehe..

another group of people i haf to apologise would be my lovable siblings..sometimes i really feel like kicking you ppl's asses but well..haf to say that if i did that, i would suffer more since i am not as strong or as active as u guys are..hehe...i am sorry for shouting at you, screaming at you, making you cry..etc2..(u noe what i am guilty of rite..hehe =P) i will try to be a better sister..but well, just tolerate me whenever i am in one of my moods..

niwaes,
to uzair..i know this is kinda late..but really, thanks for the sound advice you gave me..i didnt really realise that the problem was really that serious..but at least, now that i noe of it, i can make amends..its nvr too late kan..

now that school term has started, i think i would have to brace myself for the exams to come..and of course for my fyp..yeah..fyp is really2 eating up alot of my time and my mind..i am still trying to understand the whole procedure behind my project..i really hope no more delays now..

and well..now i just haf to undergo the pain of waiting to get my results..sigh.. =S wish me all the best aites peeps..

diana..
*twinKLEs

didnt believe that that star is still shining for me. only for me.

i wonder.

2009-06-15T11:52:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..
yest was the final day for the IVP competition..well, SP won 2 bronzes and 1 gold..and to me, that is considered quite an achievement in comparison to last year..congratulations to all medal winners and esp TP for the awesome VIP match! hehe..i really enjoyed myself during this yr's IVP competition cos i haf made new friends, and enjoyed all the experience esp for me since i had participated in the competition itself..

i do hope that next yr would be MUCH MUCH MUCH better...insyaallah..

but i am sorry silat peeps that i had to go off earlier..cos i had a date wif bf and frens..
we spent time by esplanade before catching the movie, 'Land of the Lost' at Marina Square..dat movie was full of surprises and really2 funny..i enjoyed watching the movie..esp since its the first movie i watched wif bf..haha..but well, my dae ended quite unexpectedly cos i came home at ard 12+ in the morning...haha..and although my parents were NOT happy wif me, at least i apologised and well..make amends..at least, dat ended okay..and well, bf, pls2..rmb wat i told u yest..i didnt mean to hurt ur feelings..but i was really disappointed..and well..i hope it doesnt happen again..and yes, the next time we go out together, only the two of us, i will make sure we dun spend that much..and i dun mind not spending at all k sayang..

so well, dats all for the past two weeks..
i haf built more rapport wif my silat peeps..met up wif bestie syaz during one of the competition days, still doing my sch project, and i haf talked wif bf about US..so well, i dun tink it was that bad..it wasnt rite? ahahx..

okay..gtg now..

diana..
*twiNKLES

2009-06-10T11:26:00.001+08:00

DEAR BLOGGY!!

I GOT 4TH in the TERTIARY SILAT COMPETITION!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kay2..i will upload pics soon..

diana..
*twinKLES

3rd MTH ANNI!

2009-06-02T22:22:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

today was supposedly a happy day for me..since it is my 3rd mth anniversary wif Helmie..yet, i dun really feel happy..

okaylar..partly i was happy that i get to meet Helmie after work..but i didnt get to spend much time wif him.since he was tired and also cos we met up wif Dinah after my training..sumtimes i feel like watever time i spend wif him, its always shared wif sumone else..if not wif Dinah, wif my M-SG peeps, or wif Mas..nvr wif him and oni him alone for more than an hour..seriously, i miss those times when we meet aft he finished work and will just sit down and talk at the park or below the void deck..
but i noe i haf to understand that he is busy and one day i will get to spend time wif him..

and yeah, i am hoping for that one day to come soon...

niwaes,
ayah, happy 3rd mth anni..
i am so happy that we haf managed to overcome alot of obstacles in the past mth..and i dun deny that i haf learnt so much in the past mth..i haf come to understand you and i also haf loved u more than ever sayang..thanks for your love and understanding..especially ur advices..

i will hope to have MOOORRREEE monthly anniversaries wif u sayang!

MUAX!

=========================================================

niwaes, 4 more days till my SILAT COMPETITION!

i am actually very excited for the competition but at the same time very nervous..but the problem is just that, on the day of my event, my family might possible not be able to come..helmie also cant..cos he is working..frens? i dunnoe..they haf other priorities..so yeah..but to me, actually impt is for my family to come..but they might not be able to come for my event..mayb for the tanding oni..haiiixx....

but i guess, i shudnt think too much about it and focus on my performance itself..the regu puteris haf really improved alot! hehehe..but i noe we can always be better!

so yeah! come on IVP!!!

hehe..

klah..done..

hehe..

dats all..

diana...
*twinKLEs

thanks babes for making me smile.. and also, thanks ayah for everything. =)

haix.

2009-05-30T17:39:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy...

i really hate this feeling.
this feeling that i hurt my frens's feelings. but dun they ever realise that i am concerned about them?
firstly, its to my fren, devoted..
secondly, to my silat frens..

haix.

i wont say sorry. cos i noe i am not the one at fault. u guys MUST think first cos u guys are MATURED adults okay. and stop making fun of the fact that its me. its THE diana twinkles which u guys non-stop make fun of. i can joke around wif u guys, but when i wan to give an advice, i can be matured too. so stop all this nonsense and wake up.

think of your own selves. think of your frens. think of your loved ones. of your juniors. of the principles that u hold on to.

and CHANGE. wifout changing yourself, u cant expect the world to change.

diana..
*twinKLEs

MOVIE MARATHON!

2009-05-26T22:10:00.005+08:00

I wanted to have a movie marathon of films from my childhood days. I really miss watching some of those classics.

But instead of just listing down some of them, i decided to make it into a game to tag people with.

It'll be interesting to see what kind of stories we used to love watching before all the CGI-ed films came around. Alrightey, here goes nothing..

Instructions:
1. Copy and paste the instructions into a new entry.
2. List down 8 stories that you remember watching as a kid.
3. Write why you chose each movie.
4. Publish your answers.
5. Tag 5 friends to do this including the one that tagged you.

1. 'Honey, i blew up the kid!' - anione remembers this story? hehe..it was one of my MOST favourite movies when i was a kid..cos whenever i watch this movie, i would be at my childhood crush's home..hehe..we always spend time together..and always had fun together..okay2..i am missing that person..hehe..and well..i find the baby in that story is OMG so CUTE!! hehe...

2. 'Little rascal!' cos of the names of the characters..esp that boy..erm..wid that one hair sticking up from his head..alfalfa sumting..hehe..so cute! and when he sang the song to his sweetheart and keep burping bubbles..hehe..

3. The land before time.. i usually cry whenever i watch this movie..its so sweet..seriously..and the dinosaurs are just so adorable..

4. Edward Scissorshand. The setting of the story is SO ridiculous that it never fails to make me laugh. but the plot is always touching to me that i just cant help but feel sorry for Edwards. He doesnt deserve to be treated that way...

5. Grease! hehe..love those sexy moves and the cool songs..

6. Same like Syaz, i would love to watch ,'The Gods must be CRAZY' hehe...i find that the part when the bottle hits that guy's head so funnnnyyy..hehe..

7. Beauty and the Beast...i haf always find the story mesmerising..hehe..

8. LAST! hehe...TWISTER! hehe..cos of the awesome effects!!

k done!

TAG: dzahir, hana, hazwani, atiqah and...syazwani!

UPDATES.

2009-05-25T21:31:00.003+08:00

dear bloggy..

i know that it has been ages since i last updated my blog..its simply because, i am just too busy..i do open up this page to update my blog..but usually in the end, i will just ignore this page and move on to other stuffs..facebooking for example..

but i guess, i haf to update sum stuff that has happened in my life..

firstly, on the 10th of May..
i actually went to Helmie's sister's engagement ceremony..it was kindof awkward since it was a formal event and i had to meet his whole family..and i didnt haf any frens around wif me..however, as much as it was kindof lonely for me, i can say that i am happy with the fact that his family can accept me..all his siblings could..and even his relatives too..and to me, that is the most crucial part...

one thing i would never forget is his brother's comment: " Ni gf baru abang? Lawa pe."

ahahahax..

i wud love to visit them again soon..

secondly,
then there were problems..as much as me and helmie always seem like that perfect, happy-go-lucky couple, we still had problems..jealousy is the key...and i guess that with us both being busy and not spending quality time together were also one of the key factors that lead us to haf a quarrel..but well, instead of being childish and continue fighting, in the end, we had a good talk..and although it was kindof difficult being honest since it cud hurt sumone's feelings but in the end, we solved most of the probs..

ayah.i promise i wud change.please haf faith in me.please.that's all i am asking from u.

thirdly,
most of my events are going as planned! my cca showcase managed to attract about 50+ students and most of them are still going for training..alhamdulillah..the freshmen orientation camp was also a success and i had tremendous fun although i didnt spend that much time wif the juniors since i was training for IVP..and lastly, my regu is getting on GREAT! hehe..we are finally good enuf! hehe..love my partners, Adilla and Huda..

"Success is a progressive realisation of a worthwhile dream" - as said by Talhah.

I AM GONNA BE A CHAMPION. NOT WANNA BE ONE.

lastly...
IVP is in less than 2 weeks.

hehe.

so i guess. that's all for now. hehe..

diana..
*twinKLEs

it stings.

2009-05-07T11:08:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

yesterday had sum communications and relationship problems..
just cos of sum stupid jealousy, i actually raised my voice to my godbro and my silat frens..sorry peeps..i was just too emotional yesterday..mayb i should have calmed myself down and not followed my thoughts too much..but i was hurt..i wont deny that..i was jealous..i wont deny that too..
but why am i jealous? cos obviously i dun wanna lose the person that i loved...its not fair to lose him/her becos of sumone else..everyone is not perfect so i cant make myself as perfect as possible..

niwaes, i hope that everything is cleared up btwn me and boyfie and mas. and yesh. i just wanna get over it.

till then, i dun tink i am in a mood to type out too long.

still stings.

diana..
*twinKLEs

2nd month? so soon...

2009-05-01T22:46:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

this post is esp for BOYFIE!! hehe..
cos today we have been together for exactly 2 months! hehe..

HAPPY 2nd MONTH ANNIVERSARY AYAH!!!

i love u so much. and yesh, i noe that in this 2nd month, we really had to undergo so many challenges and lonely moments what wif ea of us busy wif our own commitments, yet we haf managed to face and pull thru it..i am so proud and happy to noe that our love is still strong..i promise i wont take u for granted ayah..u will forever be someone i will always treasure and cherish...

i will pray for more anniversaries wif u aites ayah..and may we overcome all obstacles wifout fail..

lastly, i love you very very very very very much..

MUAXXX!!

will meet you soon ayah..

diana..
*twinKLEs

Keris Kuasa!!

2009-04-25T21:13:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..
saturday was one helluva hectic day cos SPSC had Keris Kuasa, which is the equivalent of the Annual General Meeting in which the old committee hands over to a new one..and i was the programmer for this event..

to tell u the truth, it went smooth though sum stuffs happened not as expected..hehe...but i still enjoyed myself..and i am happy to serve in the committee again for another year...hehe..if i haf the pictures, i will upload it soon aites..hehe..

and well, after tat, i had a bdae chalet at Aloha Loyang...hehee..its to celebrate Aqilah's sis's bdae! Kak Shikin!! hehe..well, it was a costume bdae party..aqilah dressed as a witch while her sis dressed as a pirate..and her brother as a cowboy..sooo cute..hehe...i dressed as me..although i bought a mask..ahahx...also, any pics, i will update asap..hehe....and we i also participated in a few games..ahahx..and had fun..although it was very HOT just now..hehe..

so well...that was all that happened on saturday...

hmm..
lastly, i REALLY MISS boyfie......haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiixxxxxxxxxx...
dearest darling ayahku sayang..
Helmie...

I miss you so much. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. and I love you so much! I love you always and i dun care whatever happens, i will always be there for you! MUAX! hehe...

oh..and ONE MORE WEEK! hehe...

diana..
*twinKLEs

I sure wished i am not in 3rd year! =(

2009-04-23T17:02:00.004+08:00

dear bloggy...

okay..i think i have to admit defeat..it has only been 4 days since school started and already i am having one of the worst headaches in my life! who would'nt be right..if u got to noe that the event yo are planning are going to have some cork-ups since NOBODY noes abt the event...*URGH*...the IVP competition which i haf been awaiting SOOOOOO long is having ONE HELLUVA MAJOR CORK-UP..which might cost alot of events for the clubs and also alot of effort will be wasted...*damn that organisation! buek!*

and yeah...i got my FYP project title already after the ballotting yesterday..guess what i got..firstly, dun laugh okay! its.. 'Ligand-Based Drug Design against Bird Flu'..sounds chim? should try see the articles i have been given by my lecturer to read up so as to introduce myself to this title..ahahx...

but well, i haf a feeling that the project wont be that bad after all..cos well, i haf faith in my lecturer..hehe..although this project was'nt my first choice..ahahx..so now, it just means i haf no more time to slack around...

oh..oh...and i didnt update abt my meeting wif long-time fren, Syimah! i met up wif her last sun after madrasah..she came after her driving practical..and yeah, we enjoyed a late lunch at delifrance, lot 1 and had the grilled set with BBQ sauce...it was so fun to meet up wif her and share all the stories that we hadnt managed to share in the past 4 yrs since we last REALLY met..hehe...

i still rmbered her first comment when she met me...'Diana, you look so feminine now..'

ahahx..does that mean i was a tomboy? am i? ahahhahax......mayb i am...ahahx....and talking abt that always reminds me of those times in primary school where i will always try to rival the boys..and i guess..that habit still remains until now..that is why i can't stand it when guys JUST LOOK DOWN on girls!! urgh!! hehe..

so yeah, meeting syimah is a real treat just before school opens..at least, it still comforts my heart to noe that a fren still cares..hehe..and also always give me hope to do the best in life..ahahx...

*thanks alot syimah! hehe...i love u lots k! thanks for the frenship that we haf kept since we were in kindergarten..i hope that ur dreams of opening a kindergarten will become a reality one day and yesh..may all ur dreams will be achieved one day! hehe..thanks also for the support for me to continue my studies..ahahx...nvr give up kan! ehehe...*

k..dats all for now..will update more soon!

diana
*twinKLEs

hurt.

2009-04-20T22:44:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

i guess i just want to post a song here to express my feelings. but please, for those that terase, dun assume. ask me first...

i just need a way to release my tension. life is getting a lil too difficult for me. but i noe i can prevail. like i always manage to do...

Sembilu - Ella

kelam malam sepi melamar sepi kerinduan
tak terpadam ingatanku terhadapmu
dan pada siapa harus ku adukan
resah ini kian menghimpit perasaan

dan seandainya kasihmu mekar bagai dulu
pasti tidak aku terbelenggu begini
bukan salah aku retak semua ini
berpunca darimu bertikam lidah
lalu punah

tak dapat ku bayangkan
tuturmu bagai sembilu
mencakar hati ini
tanpa simpati di hati
ingin rasanya
ku laungkan rasa kecewa

kekasih lupakan sejarah
cinta kita baja dulu
dimanakah kau campakkan
cintaku yang pernah kau sanjungi
oh mengapa semua ini berlaku
sedangkan aku sedikit pu tak pernah curang
terhadapmu

diana..
*twinKLEs

2009-04-17T18:32:00.008+08:00

dear bloggy..

i haf promised that i wud type out about the 11th April Picnic right?

ok well..so here goes...
the planning for this picnic had been ongoing for the past month..and the person behind the scene is none other than helmie with me and dzahir as co-organisers...well..people dunnid to noe abt the backfround scene for the work done in planning for the picnic..what u guys should noe is about the day itself! hehe..

Helmie prepared the food which consisted of: mee goreng, nasi goreng and tuna sandwiches..ana and dayah were responsible for the drinks, mas with the fruits, syirah aka cikpon with the titbits while the guys were given the tasks of pitching up the tentS(yang sesungguhnya tk menjadi..hehe...=p)..hehe..i am not really in the pic as i tend to help everyone out.hehe..

so yeah..on that day, at 10.25pm i reached Helmie's house at Bedok to pick up the stuffs which we had placed there the day before..Helmie was helping out his mum and his mum's god-daughter while me, naz and dayah hung out at the living room and layan-ed his youngest bro..Cute Hazroy..hehe...very cute lar that kid..hehe..

niwaes, at 11am, we all moved off to East Coast Park wif all the stuffs to meet up with the rest of the gang ho haf already arrived at the site at 10.30am..ehehe..when we reached there, the rest had pitched the first tent..and so, when we came everything was fully set up..so what remains left is to enjoy! hehe..

but well, apart from a picnic...we also had a couple of surprises..firstly is a bdae surprise for Hidayah! hehe..her 23rd bdae had just past a week ago..so we had a surprise bdae party with a strawberry ice cream cake and a cute PINK care bear as her pressie too! hehehe..naz and helmie actually went to Swensen's at Parkway Parade to get the ice cream cake and then they made up a bdae song to suprise her! ahahx..her expression was of happiness and surprise..hehe..and we really did enjoy the cake...

well, den i picked up syaz and guess who got the next surprise if not....ME!!

ahahx..

Helmie had planned it so much earlier..cos well, the rest all knew about it..apart from syaz...everyone was sitting around the mats and hadi was playing the guitar...and suddenly helmie asked me to sit next to him..i did..and he held my hands and started to talk..

whatever he said, i cant type it all out here..however, he made a promise to me and also my friends that he would never leave me and would take good care of me...and he took out the box and showed me the ring before putting it on..and during the whole time, i was too surprised and speechless to even say a thing..well, i actually wanted to run away lar..it was soo embarrassing..cos it was in front of all my friends and in such a public place..hehe..

last surprise: a flower for each lady in the group..hehe..even syaz got a hot pink flower while mas got a yellow one..hehe...

niwaes, as much as it was fun, the weather failed us at around 4pm..ahahx..we were stuck in the tent and was soon VERY wet..hehe...i enjoyed myself tremendously by playing by the beach in the rain with syaz..hehe...

but all in all, there was not really any major cock-ups and i really enjoyed myself..every second of it...hehe...

so well, just check out the pics okayyy...

hehe..

diana..

*twinKLEs
the four princesses.. me, syirah, hidayah and ana

and the five princes..uwek! hehe..naz, helmie, hadi, dzahir and isham

with the two other ppl invited! mas and her car, audi! hehe..

the strawberry ice cream cake from Swensen's!
and Dayah cutting it..hehe..very sweet kan?

and when she opened the pressie, the expression is just so priceless! hehe..

I MISS HIM.

2009-04-13T19:59:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

i think i am weird..i keep missing him although we meet almost everyday although not for long...and we always msg each other or chat with each other..but why do i always miss him?

hmm..the realities of being in love i guess...
okay..

gonna go and do more reflecting..hehe..

take care peeps..

oh..and i'll update about the 11th Apri picnic! be prepared for a sweet surprise..hehe..

diana..
*twinKLEs

SHAKIL

2009-04-07T21:31:00.004+08:00

dear bloggy..

last sunday, we had a kenduri at my uncle's place to celebrate my youngest cousin's circumcision..and its usually a gathering that i look forward too as my uncle's mother-in-law, which is also my grand-aunt, is a damn good cook!! i especially love her ayam masak merah..*droollllsss* hehehe..okay2..but that's not all...cos i get to meet my other cuz's and relatives and i love that MORE than anything! hehe..so yeah..after all the mingling and sharing of updates wif my cuz's, i met wif my cute cuz that was circumcised..hehe..so here are the pics..

my uncle and shakil =)

muke cute cos tk tau senyum..hehe..

still tak tau senyum..hehe..stress tau layan si kecik ni..tp he tak senang nangis..tu yg best..hehe..

finally...a small cute smile..hehehe.. =)

his sister: Nur Iffah Syazwani. tembam gilerrr kan? hehe..

and the pink trio is my other cuzs..from left, Azlin, Arina, Amirah and my sister, Dania..hehe..

okay..i think that's all for my update..hehe..

diana..
*twinKLEs

i am sorry.

2009-04-05T21:51:00.003+08:00

dear bloggy...

i am sorry, ayahku sayang. i am really sorry. i am really sorry. maafkan i. i know i shud not have done what i did. i haf deleted him and many others whom u dun want me to contact wif. i will really try to change. i will really put in effort to change. i will. i promise. but i really dun want to see u in no mood to talk wif me animore. i dun want to noe dat u wud leave me. i really dun want that to happen.

haix.
please forgive me. ayah. please forgive me.

diana..
*twinKLEs
ps: i dun wanna cry. but i am. haix.

to my dearest adik...

2009-04-02T11:19:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

this post is dedicated to my sister..
haiixxx...

i dunnoe what else isit dat u want from me..
u want me to understand u? well..i haf tried but it seems as though its in vain..cos each time i try to listen to ur probs, i just find that its all small stuffs which u can solve but instead u make it into such a big deal and into such a big problem which u cant solve..and thats when u get depressed and angry..and thats when u just blame others for everything..

and i hate it whenever u do dat.

now u complain that its becos of me being attached, i dun pay as much attention as i did. babes, believe me, i still care as much..if not more..why? cos abg helmie keeps asking me abt u..as much as he asks abt dinah and syafiq, cos well, both me and him do wanna try to talk to u and understand...abg helmie doesnt like me fighting wif my siblings okay...jgn pikir bukan2 lar pls..

and i noe u keep saying ever since i am attached i keep seeing him..but HELLO! i meet him like..when i am otw home from silat training or from wherever i was from..we happened to go home ard the same time..dats y i meet him..cos he sends me home..and usually its just dat..sumtimes we do sit down and talk but we dun waste time like i do wif my exs..like watching movies, etc2...he is too busy to take off every single week..and even if he does, i get pissed off..cos i dun like him taking off alwayyyyssss...u shud noe, abg helmie works everyday..and is only free on sun aftnn...so yeah, tak slh kan kak nk meet him for the duration i go home from sch.. salah ke? tell me? and whenever i talk to him also, bukannye slalu..and bukannye lama..cos i noe dat he needs his rest..and dats my priority...and whenever i conference wif my frens, its to discuss abt stuffs k..not anything k..

I really need u to understand me k babes..

i promise i wud try to change my ways. but stop lar irritating me and making me quarrel wif u over small stuffs. IT SUCKS! try it out okayy.

and stop saying abt u not having enuf love..u haf enuf..u dunnid a bf to feel loved..like i used to say, i am happy and i am satisfied having my family and my frens around..a bf is a bonus..esp a bf that is also a fren to u..

so yeah babes..i wud rather u not think abt having a bf now..but if u haf one, well, up to u..i am giving u the onus to choose urself..

so yeah..

i haf said my piece. like u haf done too..

smile aites! and me not praising u for aniting doesnt mean i am not proud or dun appreciate anything u haf done. =)

diana..
*twinKLES

1ST MONTH AND COUNTING!!

2009-04-01T23:05:00.002+08:00

dearest bloggy!!!!

GUESS WHAT???!!! hehee....its been a month since me and helmie have been together!! =) hehe...
alhamdulillah!! i hope that more months would come between me and him..and insya'allah until death do us part..amin! =)

okayy...so i am gonna dedicate this paragraph for HIM! hehe..

my dearest Mohamad Helmie bin Kamarrudin, I LOVE U MANY2! You haf really made me smile ever since the first day we meet ea other...u haf listened patiently to my stories each day...understood every single feelings and experiences i haf gone thru...laughed wif most of my giler2 jokes..and we haf been so giler2 together cos we didnt take our medication! ahahax..

u ARE the best BF i haf ever had in my life and i hope that u wud be the last BF i will ever haf.

so yeah.

I LOVE YOU.

simply said.

diana...
*twinKLEs

just for u my dearest fren

2009-03-30T21:46:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

actually my mind is in turmoil..i am having this problem wif a fren of mine..and i wud really love to solve it however i am not sure how to...i haf been seeing this fren of mine getting hurt time and again..by none other but people of the other gender..and although i haf tried to advice my fren, he/she brushed it away..instead replied by being sarcastic to me...and well, now, more ppl haf realised the mistakes he/she had done..so well, more of our frens are like..not agreeing to he/she..and i haf this fear that it would affect our frenship...and that sucks..

i really hope i can talk it out wif my fren and make he/she realise his/her mistakes before its too late..

i hope when the time comes, my dear fren, pls dun take it to heart for watever that has happened...just take it as a stepping stone, a wake-up call to change to be a better person..
insyaallah..

================================================

also, today is ad's bdae and i wished her early in the morning..i hope she had a great bdae and a great 19th yr coming up..ahhax..

hmm..just that ad reminds me that humans can change and can forgive and forget..and i appreciate it lots..i was really touched by her msg yesterday..thanks alot Ad! hehe..

================================================

and yet, i dun understand why isit sum ppl just cant accept my apology..

Z, i am sorry for being such an annoying b**** on Friday..i was just kidding around..but i didnt noe that u would take it to heart..i really hope that u wud forgive me and i wud get to mit u one more time before u go back to Bandung..i really cant say aniting else..cos i noe, i haf tested ur patience one too many times..

I am really sorry.. =(

Please reply me soon...

diana..
*twinKLEs

huh?

2009-03-30T10:30:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy...

recently there was earth hour right? ahahx..i dun tink i was really participating in it since i was at lau pa sat for dinner..however, i was thinking why cant we have earth hour like..every month? once a mth, for an hour, we put aside one hour to reflect on our (man's) actions on our Mother Earth..hmm..i dun tink its dat difficult rite? i wonder whether having this hour affects our economy, our peace? hmmm...come to think of it, if we haf this hour, mayb there wont be any wars..ahahx..cos they cant fight in the dark rite? and i was thinking, that we (man) are always soo busy to chase dreams, achieve goals, being too selfish and greedy at the same time wifout even thinking of the consequences..hmm..dun u ever wonder that ur actions affect alot of people in the cycle of life? not oni our family members or our future generation, but everything in the world?

hmm..i dunoe why am i suddenly in this philosophical mood todae..but i still think that we should haf Earth Hour each month..its fair enuf for our Mother Earth rite? we are oni contributing 1/(24hrs x 30/31days) in a month..(not counting leap years or february..hehe.. =p) that doesnt count for alot rite?

hmmm...nvm..i will just ponder abt it more today..hehe..

================================================

niwaes, there was a time when i dedicated a song to Helmie..ahahx..
its none other than Tanpa by 6th sense..ahahx..an indon band..

Tanpa - 6ixth Sense

6ixth Sense "TANPa"

Resah yang ku
Ubah dalam kata
Melukiskan kesunyian
Tanpa engkau aku tak mengerti

Meski
Pagi itu menatapi
Akan sunyi tanpamu
Menemani aku sepi

* Tanpa..
Cintamu aku resah
Tanpa..
Kasihmu aku hampa
Tanpa..
Dirimu aku mati
hohoo…

Kini benar-benarku rasakan
Dalam relung hatiku tanpamu
Ku tak mengerti
daku....
Takut jauh dari dirimu
Dan kau tinggalkan aku sendiri
Tanpamu ku mati
hohoo…

Resah yang ku
Ubah dalam kata
Melukiskan kesunyian
Tanpa engkau aku tak mengerti

hmm..and helmie said that that song doesnt seem to haf a meaning..
maybe u misunderstood me, but wat i was trying to mean from this song is just that, i cant live wifout u, it will hurt me very badly if i lose u and that i would rather sacrifice myself then letting u go..

paham? ahahx..

oh well...watever it is, i still like this song.. BLUEARK!! ehehe..

klah..

less than 3 days till our FIRST MONTH!! hehe..

diana..
*twinKLEs

LAU PA SAT GALOREEE!!

2009-03-29T21:41:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy...

yesterday was the first time i met the rest of the ppl that are going to be invited for the upcoming picnic..they are: wan star, ira and huny..however, i did met wif more peeps such as wan's fiancee', wan's fren and huny's fren..

we met at lau pa sat for dinner...quite bored as sum came late, got sum hitches(like getting wrong directions... =P)..however, it was quite okay since i managed to click wif them although it might take sum time until i am literally okay wif everyone..ahahx..

niwaes, plans for the picnic are underway and i really hope that it will be success..i dun wan to disappoint anione..hehe...

and hmmmm....
less than 5 days till my FIRST MONTH!! hehe..

loving him oh-so-much!! ahahx..

okay2...shudnt start now..
gtg now..

hehe...

diana..
*twinKLEs

giddy with happiness!

2009-03-23T14:51:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

3 weeks haf passed since i am wif Helmie and well..truthfully...i am very HAPPY!!! hehe...so giddy with happiness! hehe..and insyaallah this happiness will not be short-lived..i wish for it to last until forever and i will put in effort for it to last so..

but first..let me recap what happened last week..

okayyy...nothing major happened on monday and tuesday....
however, the next few days..was damn stressful and hectic lar seeyy..
ahahx..

cos well, on weds, i met wif Adilah at BnG..ahahx..where we shared stories abt our ITP experience..seems like she is having a hard time there sey..but i believe she can do it..rite? ahahx..and then i met wif Aqilah at her place..where we hung out, shared more stories abt alot of other stuffs before i finally met Syaz at Orchard where she picked up her Twilight DVD...ahahx..it was one helluva day larr...very tiring but fulfilling..hehe..

and i still haf a date wif SYAZ and AQILAH!! SHOPPING LADIES!!! hehe..

on thurs, i had a meeting wif fellow SIFE mate to prepare the presentation by translating the presentation into malay for the sake of my indonesian-speaking helpers in Batam..and i was supposed to meet wif Zairel, my indonesian fren to help me too.. but he didnt show up...so in the end, me and my fren struggled to finish the presentation before i rush off to sch for my training...silat was FUN! ahahax..cos i managed to run for quite a distance wif Zul...
(ZUUULLL!!! i nid more running to pump myself up!!) but hahx..becos of the run, i think i strained my muscles..my knee joint specifically..ahahx...

on Fri, went to JB wif family!! watched 'The Race to Witch Mountain'...quite fun..but not wat i had in mind..hehe..but i still enjoyed myself lar...we went to Pak Uda's condo for the evening..and that's when i got the call from Zairel abt his accident the day before...nasib minor..alhamdulillah..but i was damn worried lar..cos its not his character to make me wait for him..ahahx..so yeah..back to my original story, i finally reached home at 12am in the morning..had oni 4 hrs of sleep before waking up in a hurry to finish up the presentation as i am gg to BATAM!!

so, on Saturday, i went to Batam for a day trip..to conduct the business presentation and also to conclude our future steps in the coming months...hahax..due to this presentation, i tell u, i totally hate business...CONFUSING babes..ahahx...but i had my share of fun to when i went shopping for caps, hoodies and souvenirs for my family in oni 30 mins..ahahx..

but i am THOROUGHLY SATISFIED! hehe..

and my ordeal didnt end there..

cos SUNDAY...my lovely darling ustadz and ustazah had something for us too..
i had a Fiqh presentation on Rujuk..which was quite okay wif sum cork-ups due to sumone who didnt noe how to explain...ahahx..and a Tafsir Test on Surah Ar-Rum..ahahx..

alhamdulillah, Ustadz Ismail said that the presentation was good apart from typo errors and the Tafsir Test was quite easy..ehehe...though truthfully, i didnt study..ahhx..

after MADRASAH, its time to PARTY!! hehe..
cos well, although it wasnt relly my plan to go to IMM wif my family to buy hps for my bro and youngest sis, i managed to make myself happy by getting myself a new blue DRESS!! hehe..
den after gg home to change, i went to Bedok wif Helmie and melayu-sg peeps! to recce for our upcoming picnic by the beach organised by Helmie..ahhx...

it was quite boring at first..but after everyone came, that was when the fun started cos everyone keep cracking up over jokes..and i had ALOT of fun i tell u..ahahx..in the end,we all went home at around 9+ since i haf my curfew..(sowie peeps..i am the youngest after all..hehe.. =P)

all in all, i had ALOT OF FUN though i cant deny that last week was stressful! hehe..all thanks to the support of my family and of cos Helmie..i tell u all eh..wifout his patience and care, confirm i wud haf already broken down by now..

and yesh..last wk was just one test to see how long i and him can really persevere..cos well, as much as i wrote up there abt all the stuff i had to do, me and him still haf sum misunderstandings..but we always manage to solve all the probs..so yesh..i really appreciate it lots ayang...

MyHotComments

i hope to haf alot more future anniversaries, smiles, laughter, tears, squabbles, hugs and everything with u..and no one else..MUAX!

cant wait for this 11th! and 2nd April! and this SUNDAY! hehe...

diana..
*twinKLEs

UMI'S BDAEEEE!!!

2009-03-17T14:13:00.004+08:00

dear bloggy...

last friday, my dearest sister, Dania Syuhaida was awarded the outstanding pupil award of her sch, Regent Sec..ahahx...i was there wif my parents as my sister knew that i had been wishing to go to her sch since she first got into the sch..ahahax..(there is sum history btwn me and that sch..ahahx)

damn am i proud of her..cos well, i haf nvr gotten any award while i was in sec sch as my sch was considered an elite ~~neighbourhood~~ sch..(back then..of cos..now, i dunnoe..) and well..also for her to continue to sit for her O's also..who wudnt be proud rite? ahahx...i do noe she is smart but she doesnt see it and usually she does not take advantage of her own talent..niwaes, i hope that this award will open her eyes...(actually this is not the first award she has received over the past few years..

so yeah..

CONGRATULATIONS my dearest sister! hehe..
so yeah..sum pics taken at her ceremony...

hehe..dania mane? hehe..i noe the pic quality not good..tp nampak dania tak? hehe..

dania again. ahahx...

and dania and my parents...happy lar kononnn...ahahx..

==========================================================

and guess what?

today is 17th MARCH 2009!!

and guess whose bdae isit?! hehe..

none other than my BELOVED UMI DARLING!!! hehehe..

on this day, my mum is officially 4_..hehehe...cannot tell..later ppl noe how old she is..hehe...

so well..me and my family celebrated her bdae last sun at Pastamania Lot 1! hehe..we had an earlier bdae celebration as my mum is working todae..hehe..
niwaes, it was quite a surprise..cos well..this is the first time that we as a family ever planned for such an event..(actually its more that the 4 of us planned..as my dad didnt noe of the plan until the evening itself..hehe..)

Umi just returned from work and waited for us at the lib..Dinah and Syafiq met her first followed by daddy darling...me and Dania, we bought Umi a stalk of rose..(soft toy..i hate real flowers cos they wilt..ahahx) and then bth of us reserved seats..ahahx..

when umi came down, she was kinda reluctant to enter as she knew that pastamania is not really in our budget but when she was pulled into the restaurant wif my two siblings and my dad, my mum realised that its a surprise, so she just smiled and sat wif us..ahahx..after ordering the food, dania gave my mum the rose..hehe..i dunnoe how my mum felt lar...as we are not the touchy-feely kind of family..we usually joke, laugh and talk ard rather than kiss and hug..ahahx..but i knew she was happy..hehehe..

oklah..so here are the pics...

again..HAPPY BIRTHDAY UMI!!! hehe..
love you always for being the strongest and best mummy on earth! hehe..
MUAX!!

and HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!

umi and abi in front of pastamania.. =)

dinah promoting apple crumble dessert..hehe..

and also being the main taster for the apple crumble too.. =P

cheesy pizza! hehe..i noe i look spastic! hehe..

dania and dinah..giler2 as per usual..

irritating syafiq trying to act cute! ahahx..

and the sweetest part of all...pizza-feeding ppl! hehehe..

till then..

diana..
*twinKLEs

Me and who?

2009-03-09T23:00:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy...
i guess i haf to clear sumthing up...
as of 2nd March 2009, Diana is happily attached to H-----...
and for those who know abt this, i noe that sum of my frens think that i easily fall in love and always make myself so vulnerable to hurt and despair..
however, i haf sumthing to clarify..
before even getting attached to H, he has gotten to noe alot abt me, as much as wat i noe abt him..also, he has met my siblings and they really like him, so to me, that is a really good sign cos i cant rmb the last time my siblings were okay wif sumone i was wif..*apart from musadiq lar...*

niwaes, he said that he is serious and sumhow, i believed him..ahahx..cos well, watever i feel for him was the same thing i felt for musadiq..oni stronger..cos well, he has some qualities that are just wat i haf always wanted in a guy..for eg, that bit of islamic knowledge that, to me, could guarantee more understanding between us and possibly a longer relationship...

and not oni dat..my m-sg frens haf met him too and haf given him the green light..hehehe..

insya'allah hubungan kite berkekalan k ayang...
i appreciate everything u haf done for me in the past, present and of course in the future...i am really looking forward to a future wif u aites..hehe..

aites..
so i haf come clean wif my status...ahahx..cuma name die aje i cant say..cos i dunnoe whether he minds or not if i reveal it...

and well..when he asked me to be his gal, he got on one knee in the park where we were chatting and held my hands...damn..i was touched..hehe..and of cos i accepted..
he said that he just cudnt wait to get att to me as he truly loved me and cant bear the tot of me being wif another guy..ahahax..namely F..ahahx..

so well, on the 2nd of March 2009, i am officially attached! hehe..
and thanks to all dearest frens who haf congratulated me and approved H to be wif me..

niwaes, being wif H means that i am always taken care of..serious..we can mit ea other almost everyday..just for him to pick me up and send me home..eheh..and its really fulfilling and makes me happy..hehe...(btw..H lives in UT therefore easy for him to send me home..)

so yeah..thats the main thing i wanna update abt..

further updates, i am gonna get my First Aider license SOON! hehe..i passed my theory test wif FLYING COLOURS and my practical test too..Faili said that i looked so calm and collected as i was doing CPR on little Anne..hehe..(the CPR dummy duuhh...) pdhal in my brain i was panicking..i was thinking that in a real situation, i might haf sacrificed sumone's life seeeeyyy..hehe..but well, Faili already said i am gonna pass so YEAH!! i can save ppl now wif my knowledge..
niwaes, the CLASS was damn fun larrr! cos mostly the students were from SP and so, we cud just click..hehe..so many jokes were shared and laughter too...ooh..misunderstandings were also common..esp the part where Faili tot me and Zul were attached! ahahx..

so thats the update for the week! hehehehe..
further updates coming up soon!

diana..
*twiNKLES

CHILL OUT! hehe..

2009-03-04T12:21:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy!!!

last Sunday was a very awesome day for me although i was very exhausted after the chalet which went not as expected...ahahx..
cos well..on that day, i met up wif my Melayu-SG frens! hehe..Melayu-SG is a networking website quite similar to anakmelayu singapura..but well, to me, its waaaaayyy better than any other networking websites i haf been too..cos well..this networking site has a chatbox, so i get to noe those who add me up online better wifout gg to msn..ahahx..and yeah..i esp LOVE the forum..cos well, discussions can be put up and views can be heard..ahahx..i dunnoe lar..but to me, its much more fun and diff than Friendster and even Facebook...but not many of my reality frens are interested in this therefore i made new frens..hehe..ok2..although my new frens are mostly older than me, as mostly are in their 20s, i feel like i can really clique wif all of them..i can think like most of them and enjoy chatting wif them..

well..back to the outing, Devoted was the one who organised the dinner at Sakura Halal Thai Cuisine at Far East Plaza and well..he invited Vendetta, Naz, Imraah, Lady T and Sweetrose..however, there are others who were invited such as Z, Imraah's and Dev's fren, F, my friend and Sweetrose's cuz..we had to wait a LONNNNNNGGGG time for Naz and Vendetta to come down that the food we ordered even became cold! hehe..but yeah, blame the rain..ahahx...

and after dinner, F, Z and Sweetrose's cuz had to go off early so in the end the 7 of us went to McCafe at Isetan for coffee..hehehe..we chatted, laughed and took sum pictures..that time spent really made me smile....hehe..i enjoyed myself cos well, i haf finally proven that there are internet frens who can really become close frens..hehe..like me and Dev..we are very close now..ahahx..thanks alot aites...

to all my new peeps! i really appreciate it lots! and for those peeps who cudnt make it, do try to come down the next time..esp u Hana! hehe..

niwaes, below are the pics we took... ENJOY!

that is the 6 of us, minus Lady T who took the pic. From left, Vendetta, Naz, Dev, me , Sweetrose, ImraahImraah and Lady T

Vendetta, Naz and Dev

and that's me! hehe..Dev menyibuk je! blueak!

diana..
*twinKLEs

one thing at a time.

2009-02-25T10:49:00.003+08:00

dear bloggy...

FINAL YEAR EXAMINATIONS ARE OVER!!
so well, next is to wait for my results which will be released in abt 2 more weeks.hehe..
insya'allah i will pass and get into 3rd year!
hehe..

so well, yesterday was Molecular biology..and like usual, i will always get confused abt sum terms..but the paper is still do-able..hehe....

and yeah, as soon as i stepped out from the classroom, i just cant be bothered to think abt anything else apart from FOOD! hehe..cos well, yest the four of us, me, kaya, kahyan and aqilah went to jurong point's pizza hut for our celebratory lunch! hehe..i had Chicken Haven! hehe..and OMGness the alfredo sauce is sooo heavenly..hehe...and we had side dishes too! like the petite salad, criss cross fries and fish o's! yest was like the oni day i was ready to splurge! ahahx...

Chicken Haven! hehe..and the other side dishes..hehe..

Me and Kahyan..hehe..the ever enthusiastic gal and blur sotong...

Aqilah and Kaya..hehe..my two close besties..hehe..

and well, after all of us finished our own meal..esp for kahyan who had trouble to finish her veggie lover's pizza..we went strolling in jp for awhile..went to this fashion to check out sum dresses..before gg to NIE where we went out to check out the courses offered there after graduating from poly..okaylar..the trip there was quite enlightening and i do know that i might take up courses there since i am interested to teach..but come to think of it, i love sciences too..confuse eh..oh well..i still had a yr to think abt it..ahahx..

hmmm...

niwaes, yest i made my own realisation..*thanks to Z..* that i really nid to noe myself before i even attempt to noe others..as in, getting into a serious relationship..i might haf tot that i haf knwn myself before this when i was wif musadiq..however, things haf happened in the past yr that haf made me think otherwise..i realised that i might crave for a serious, long-term relationship however, i haf other things i want to do in life which i dun tink is possible if i am attached..especially if my partner cant understand and allow me to do so..

well..its just that i haf met a couple of guys..who cant accept watever i wanna do..for eg, riding a bike, travelling the world to help others and doing all those stuff i dream of doing but havent been able to do so..ahahx..and that made me realise that i shudnt limit myself of my own dreams just for another guy...so yeah. as long as i dun feel that i haf achieved watever i dreamt of in my life, i dun tink i wud settle down..

unless, if that person can understand me and allow me to do my dreams..then mayb i settle down..

well..i seriously haf to thank z for giving me all those advices and motivation..he truly made me want to kejar my dream of studying further and nvr giving up..summore since i haf seen that if he can excel, i can too! ehehe... =)

and yeah..he doesnt want to contact me too..together wif K..so i am okay wif dat lar...i noe i haf to learn to give and take..

so well...

dats all for now..

diana..
*twiNKLEs

yeahh...two more papers!

2009-02-18T14:09:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

Exam fever is here! and just yesterday i haf finished my Basic Instrumental Analysis paper yesterday! Forgetful as usual, i forgot my calculator! hehe..i was panicking and really about to cry but thankfully a fren of mine could lend his calculator to me..hehe..*thanks isma and lutfi!

the paper was not that difficult as i had expected so well, i felt quite relieved..

and hmm...fri is my Anatomy and Physiology Paper..ahahx..quite interesting to read up but full of facts and details to remember..am already starting all the revisions so that all the papers wont cork up that much..ahhaax..

niwaes, i noe that the past few days i am like...having so many things inside my mind..

family problem - still trying to get over it. but talked abt it.
relationship problem - ITS HISTORY! wif azmi i mean. hehe.
examination problem - solving it bit by bit. no giving up man!

however, i got to noe that 3 other guys like me..*haha. + yan who has just gotten back from NZ. still hasnt changed* and well...to tell u the truth, i feel kinda strangled wif all the attention..
i cant stand I's obsessiveness.

He cant stand the fact that there are other guys that like me. and he just cant trust me. well, cos like today, i went out to haf lunch wif syaz..and he kept insisting that i am meeting another guy when i wasnt. and when i got tired and said: 'yeah..i am meeting a guy..' he felt hurt and was disappointed wif me..urgh...and well, i was honest to him in the sense that i told him that there are other guys who like me..and well, i wud respect it if he gives me the time and space for me to get to noe the rest too..but it doesnt seem to me that he understands cos well, whenever i am talking wif Z, he wud always sms me..and when i dun reply he will call me..he cud call me up to 15 times just for me to reply to him..URGH! irritaiting tau..and syaz doesnt seem to like him..and i am beginning to dislike him although he is not such a bad guy...but he does remind me abt azmi..ahahx..

Z is diff i must say..diff in race and language..but i find him interesting as he has the same interest as me..Sciences but in a more specific branch which is marine biology..whereas i am more interested in botany..ahahx..i like him based on his maturity and the way he respects girls..interesting yeah? and he really gives me an inspiration to excel in life..thanks Z! will always remember all ur advice..he did say he likes me..and well, i dunnoe how things wud turn out in the end..but like he said, he will give me the time and space during my exams n then mayb aft my exams he wud bring me out to see his reserach work! sumhow i am excited abt it..hehe..

lastly is K..and K is more familiar wif my frens as my melayu frens have met him and kinda like him..he is also of diff race and willing to learn more abt our religion and stuff like that..although he is cute, but i cant find him to be of a long-term material..well, he scares the hell out of me as he kept treating me like a patient..well, he got to noe i haf problems and he keep insisting me to talk to him abt my problems..its not that i dun want, its just that i dun trust him enuf to tell him abt my problems..and i dun want to bother him wif mine..and the more he kept asking me to meet him, the more i feel strangled too...cos he once said that i shud try to make time for him if i wanna be wif him...

but doesnt he understand that i am very committed to my other stuffs..for example my silat club, my volunteering activities and also my SIFE competition..? ishk..i really need sumone who understands all these, can give me support and also time and space for me to pursue those stuffs which i love to do..its not as though i am begging anione for their money and time...and yesh..it wud take sum time for me to trust and let myself to truly introduce myself to sumone..

so pls my dear frens...
pls stop calling me a playgirl, or a girl who is like always falling in love..cos i am not falling in love animore..it sickens me whenever ppl keep calling me names..and also when they say that i like ALOT of guys..like HELLOOOOO..i do like guys and i am honest abt it thats why i always talk abt it..but LIKE is not = to LOVE. get it? i might like GUYS in UNIFORM, another guy from SP and a few other guys whom i got to noe of..but it doesnt mean i will fall for them rite?

i really dun get it why..esp my silat frens...think so...

and i would really prove to them that i am not like what they think..but i prefer to be my own self..so i might act like a guy, being brash and rude at times, and gawk at every guy that pass by, but i will be true to one person when the time comes...cos i expect that person to accept me cos of who i am..what for do i want to act to wat the society expects to see from me.. when its not my true self? well..for eg, wif me wearing tudung, frens or acquaintances find it weird i hear to techno, likes to talk brashly and sumtimes act like a guy..ahahx..

like wat i always say: 'AKU PUNYE PASAL LARRR!!'

so yeah..

ahahx..

diana..
*twinKLES

FUNNNNN!!!!

2009-02-13T12:16:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..
what better way to chill out before the exams than hanging out wif peeps at VIVO!! hehehe..
was there to celebrate dearest wiwi's 19th birthday! on TEUSDAY! hehe..
me, sufy and zaya surprised wiwi first at vivo's rooftop by giving her a white choc macadamia cake from secret recipe..hehe..
then we went to harbourfront's pastamania for wiwi's bdae lunch! hehe..and wiwi treated us by paying part of the whole bill...*thanks wiwi!
farhana also came when we were starting to eat..and yeah..we did take pics..but not wif my fon..so haf to wait till the rest upload then i can post in the blog..hehehe...

the highlight was the hanging out at the rooftop near the swinging man..hehehe...we played cards..*main bluff tk pass ke suf! hehehe! and yeah..aliff main..ishkk..penipu haram! hehehe..*
and we played truth or dare...*kecian aliff..cannot do one chicky dance..heheheheheh*
and then the rest came..meaning jann and dewi..
miss them loads! ahahx..but i was caught up in a book..hehe..*diana nvr change eh korg..asik dgn buku je..* den dats all..byk camwhoring je..hehehe..

okay2..

so EXAMS are officially HERE!! heheheeh

gtg chiong uhhh..

diana..
*twinKLEs

NUS friendly!

2009-02-08T21:21:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

the NUS vs SP friendly was a SUCCESS!! success!! SUCCESS!! hehehe..

no major cork-ups...no serious injury..(except for abg wafi with a twisted leg which was treated and okay by the end of the match..) but lots of fun, experience and tightening of friendships..although i dun really mingle alot with the NUS peeps cos busy with handling stuffs and actually i was quite shy wif most of the NUS peeps..yelah..silat-wise, most of them are more experienced..and intellectual-wise..they are smarter too...so well..i feel inferior to them..ahahx..

niwaes, yest was the first time i shed tears when i was praying..i was really shocked lar dat it happened..didnt expect it...but i noe it means i can change..and there is still time for me to change...

oh well..
nth much to update..

diana..
*twiNKLEs

actually. i ignored all the good stuff. shudnt have done that.

2009-02-06T18:48:00.001+08:00

dear bloggy..

i haf been wallowing in too much sorrows that i haf forgotten to look on the brighter side of things..
fyi..
last sunday..during madrasah, i got EXCELLENT NEWS!!
hehe..
i got back my last yr's results!
and guess what? i PASSED!!!! hehe..and i really mean, a good pass..hehe..i wont tell u the grades becos if noe, sumone will throttle me to death. (my sister =P) but alhamdulillah, the grades were good enuf for me to continue to my next yr wifout repeating any subjects..hehe..

and well..
almost all of my frens noe abt him and are happy that i am wifout him animore. they knew that he was a bad influence to me..and they noe that he wud take a looooonnngg time to change..

and yesterday, me and syaz, we went for a trip back in time by going back to BPGHS..
and OMGness..my alma meter is SOOOO HUGE wif SOOOOOO MANY facilities that i am OH-SO-DAMN-JEALOUS! hehe...but i had fun by just walking and roaming around in sch..
*no more EMAS room? -sulk- * but we met a tarian junior who cudnt recognise me or syaz cos we were both in tudung..hehehe..but she was sooo cute..she wanted us to attend her tarian training..tapikan..nid the permission of the teacher-in-charge, Cikgu Marlinah..hehe..so well..maybe soon we will meet..

hehe..
and well, otw to Lot1 for lunch, we talked abt random stuff..and we started talking abt him..Syaz was DAMN furious wif him lar and she is happy i am ignoring him..hehe..well..syaz said that i am pretty..one of her frens who are unik-ly pretty so she thinks that i shudnt care what he said abt me..*thanks babes..u really made me smile! =)))) hehehe*

hmm..though syaz got a headache after that, we managed to shop awhile...

and got home feeling exhilarated..

sometimes those random stuffs i do always satisfies me..

hehe..

diana..
*twiNKLEs

sick of u already.

2009-02-05T22:24:00.000+08:00

dear bloggy...

i am sick of u already. so yeah. my heart is totally closed to u already. i am sorry but i just cant accept the way u are acting now. trying so hard that its hows how insincere u are. not oni me, but my bestie said the same too. i dun want u to change just for me. its for u. will and always haf been for u. not for me. i nid u to realise ur mistakes before its too late.

i guess its over between us.

pls dun try to contact me if u still haf the intention to impress me cos it doesnt mean anything to me animore.

make other deserving girl impress of u. not me.

thanks for the sum of the memories we had.

take care..

======================================

exams are nearing, so i dun haf alot of time to ponder abt such things.

diana..
*twiNKLEs

did u even get it?

2009-02-03T11:02:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy...

did u noe that the opposite of love is not hate..but indifference?
did u noe that once a person is indifferent towards his/her partner it means that nothing is gonna mend that relationship?
i dont think u noe rite?
u still want that one chance? i am giving it to u becos of ur brother..but i doubt anything can change.
i cant believe that after watever happened in ur past, u still cant bother to change..its no doubt no one would want to stick to u.
but i am happy that u haf changed from ur old ways..*u noe wat i mean*
just dun make it temporary. make those changes permanent and insya'allah u will find sumone who can accept u and whom u can accept..
i just cant be bothered to change myself for u. let me change at my own course. cos these changes u ask me to do is not attitude-wise..but physically..

i dunnoe wat else to say but let time tell.

diana..
*twinKLEs

cant u just understand?

2009-02-02T10:27:00.005+08:00

dear bloggy..

i am getting very pissed off wif sumone.
i dun understand why u cant understand what the **** i am talking abt! urgh!

seriously..ur attitude needs a MAJOR makeover! not me! like duuhh..

why isit that u wish for me to be sumone that i nvr want to be and nvr would like to be?
i dun want to wear contacts, to put on make-up and get uber thin! what do i get by doing so?
i look prettier? oh well. dun u realise that alot of guys like me the way i am? my FRIENDS love me for who i am. and that's why i love them oh so much! UNLIKE U! my exs NEVER commented negatively at me.. they would usually say, "yeah..u are not damn pretty but i love u for who u are..u are just..blah..blah..blah..."

YOU keep saying.."yeah..i dun mind how u look like..cos behind that face u haf, u are such a pretty girl..seriously, if u take off ur tudung u would be damn gorgeous..ur islamic knowledge is great! and u wish to change for the better...i am SOOOO proud of u..", but each time u also will say.."but u can be prettier rite? u can wear contacts, etc2.."

YOU KNOW WHAT? I HAF HAD IT WIF ALL THIS BULLSHIT! IF U WANT SUCH A BITCH, JUST PRE-ORDER HER FROM ANY MATCH-MAKING SITES BUT NEVER EVER EXPECT ME TO CHANGE FOR YOU. I HAVE SURVIVED 18 FREAKING YEARS OF MY LIFE IN CONTROL OF MYSELF SO WHY now MUST I BE CONTROLLED BY YOU?

I DUN WISH TO BE CONTROLLED BY SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T DESERVE TO CONTROL ME.

DO U UNDERSTAND THIS OR U STILL NEED ME TO EXPLAIN?

change YOURSELF before u change others.

and dun blame me if anything happens btwn us. i haf given u OH-SO-MANY hints and chances.

OH. and never blame me for listening to my friends. cos u dun wish to listen to me, i haf to make u listen. fyi, i am not as DUMB as u think i am.

W-A-K-E_U-P!

diana..
*twiNKLEs

ps: and i noe my frens would support me all the way in this. cos like i ALWAYS say, they ALWAYS stick wif me thru thick and thin.
* devoted would ans: BETUL3X! *

Dance floor anthem - GOOD CHARLOTTE - GOOD CHARLOTTE

this song would show u what i feel NOW!

exams again? one yr older? graduating soon?

2009-01-30T19:13:00.004+08:00

dear bloggy...

four more weeks till another sem in sch ends..
and less than two weeks till my exams..
sumhow i am not excited for the upcoming holidaes cos the holidaes are already planned out..
no part-time job..and i doubt alot of enjoyment for me..

but ending this sem, i will then be in 3rd yr..and the last yr in poly..i hope i could grad as scheduled so that everything will go on smoothly..no more cork-ups for me, thank you..
ahahx..but most of my frens would be graduating too..most of my silat frens and some of my poly frens will grad..
gonna miss them seyyy..

hmmm..
k..quit all this rambling..

well, currently i am like..hoping i can make amends wif sweetrose over watever happened dulu..but heck it lar..her rude remarks really turned me off..so what if she is older than me? basic courtesy is impt for any person..esp for first impression..

and yeah..abt dante, i am really gonna guide him to change to be a better person..this is gonna be the one and oni chance so if he is gonna blow this chance, i am sorry..as there is a limit to everything..but up to date..he is making progress..slow but gradual progress..

and yesterday, i met wif imraah and devoted at ramen ten, harbourfront..it was great! i had fun talking wif imraah and well..i am so happy to noe that having internet frens is not that bad..ahahx..unlike wat others always say...hope that we can always remain frens k peeps!
hehe.. =)

and hmmm..abt the nus friendly match, its confirmed to be on the 7th Feb..and well..i haf to join in olahraga..but i dun wan..summore since i m on mc until next month..and heck it lar..not joining silat doesnt mean i dun care animore..it just means that i am taking care of myself..and i dun wan my health to deteriorate in the long run..i hope it can be worked out soon..

ok then..
nth else to update..hehe..

gtg now..

diana..
*twinKLEs

CUTEness

2009-01-29T22:18:00.004+08:00

dear bloggy..

he looked into my eyes and said: 'More, more.."
and i looked back at him and smiled.
and gave him more.

his smug smile of satisfaction means more than anything.

hehehehehe..
and if anione had any wrong ideas abt wat i wrote, then u must be thinking dirty. hehe...

see what i mean? he will look at u smiling that cheeky smile expecting for that one more bag.

and then he will just take it from you.

and then he would give u that smile. hehehe.

it was a day in jb for my distant relative's wedding..was great apart from the jam at the causeway..hehe..and met my lovely cuzs..hehe..

summore pics..

sister love kape?
hehe..

sempats at the bus-stop!

i noe i just love her alil bit too much..

dinah mmg giler!!

ok2..enuf pics..will update more later..
btw..

to my loveliest, sweetest, most irritating-est adik!

DANIA SYUHAIDA BINTE MUHAMAD DAUD

congratulations for turning one yr older!
and so what. u are 17. i am still older by a yr! hehe..
BLUEARK!
ok2..may u always be blessed okay.and may ur wish to..erm..have a bf come true..*crosses fingers! i dun want u to haf a bf! ahahx..*
and GOOD LUCK FOR UR O's.
Make sure u get all A's okay. hehe..

ok2..i hope u are happy wif our bdae pressie and ur surprises today..

take care..

diana..
*twinKLEs

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!

2009-01-25T21:51:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

heheh..
tomorrow is CHINESE NEW YEAR!!
and guess where i am celebrating it?
at EAST COAST PARK wif beloved family members..hehehe..
cant wait!!!

hehehe..
and i am overniting!!!!! so well..i am gonna tonnnnn until morning..gonna count the stars..gonna forget my worries..forget my problems...but oni for tmr..hehehe...

oklar peeps..will update when i get back..

diana..
*twinKLEs

trying hard to change..

2009-01-21T16:51:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy...

can u believe it? i lost 1kg! hehe..due to my strict diet larrrr...urgh..sumtimes i just feel like giving up wif the diet..but well..i guess its for my own good..
and well..i cant wait till i have really recovered before i can start exercising and begin training to lose more weight! ahahx..now i am very inspired to lose my weight and be healthier...though my frens say i am fit enuf..
hehe..
i dun tink so lar..
i tink i am getting chubbier by the minute! ahahx..

but sumtimes i feel saddened that becos i haf not recovered that much, i cant participate in the NUS-SP friendly match this coming 7th Feb..but oh well..i will be in the organising committee..so at least i wud be contributing..and yeah..haf to keep on revising the regu moves for the upcoming IVP competition..

hmm..yesterday met abg mamat at vivo wif dante..it was supposed to be a date wif dante but i just missed abg mamat too much! (i am sorry, dante) its been AGES since i last met abg mamat and chatted wif him decently so yest was the opportunity to spend time wif him..and so..dante and abg mamat noes ea other already..and i really hope bth of them can get along wif ea other wifout throwing any punches..but like i always say..
let time tell..

but aft the meeting wif abg mamat, the date wif dante was really memorable..
i noe its kinda tacky since he gave me a bouquet and a teddy bear..but the thought behind those gifts really touched me..(thanks dante! =]) hope that the future dates would be as memorable or better than yesterday's..

and dzahir is having a girl problem again..
sowie dzahir i cant help u much..hmm..hati perempuan ni..bile hati batu..betul2 batu concrete..hehehe..
but i hope u can solve it..and find a great girl to be ur life partner soon tau!

diana..
*twinKLEs

told you i love being the way i am

2009-01-20T11:45:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy...

sch is starting soon but i still haf time to blog awhile..
hmm..just now aqilah showed me sum pics of sum ladies who are just drop-dead GORGEOUS! urghhhh..
ahahx..i noe i am jealous..but i cant help it..i wasnt born wif those genes that code for those mancung nose, fair and smooth skin, almond-shaped eyes, blue irises, brownish-black hair..
URGH!
and i know that most guys LOVE girls like that..whom i noe i can nvr be..
ahahx.and well..
sumhow i realise that i love being the way i am wifout adding that extra make-up, wifout trying too hard to LOOK good and FEEL good..
i dunnid anione to tell me what to do to myself..

but yeah..stop saying i shud do THIS, do THAT. it plainly IRRITATES me!

if u cant be happy wif the way i am, i dun blame u if u dun wanna be my fren..and i haf NTH to lose okay. i dun wanna keep sumone who cant accept me the way i am.

diana..
*twiNKLES

ps: sesiape yg terase tu, i am sorry. =S

2009-01-17T08:49:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy...

a few nights ago, i cried. cos i felt like i had been betrayed again. by a GIRL. not a GUY. urgh. that feeling sucks. i haf always been low on self-esteem but i try as much not to show it. but sum individual could always get thru all my defences and bring me down AGAIN. urgh. she made me feel so inferior, like as though i am nvr gonna be as pretty as her, nvr as good as her or watever..but guess wat? i noe i am better in studies than her..and i haf more frens than her who would stick wif me thru thick and thin..and my family is still better than her..so i guess i shud smile more and just let this phase pass rite? ahahx. guess i better should.

but it just confirms that GIRLS when they betray another of their own species are WORST than the lowliest MAN on EARTH-cum-UNIVERSE..
so yeah. i might haf more guy frens than girl frens. but those girl frens i haf will always be the BEST and will always be there for me.

THANKS BABES...u noe who i mean rite? hehe.
okay2..thanks Nurul Syazwani and Nurul Aqilah..hehehe..

oh..and well..sum updates abt myself...
there might be a chance that i am gg back to India for the competition..and also to Batam..so i would not be free during the 7 wks of holidaes..but hmm..i find that there are more meaning in life whenever i keep myself busy wif volunteering stuff or things that i enjoy doing..
hehe..

hmm..i guess that's all for now..

take care..

diana..
*twinKLES

kak aimiiiiiiiiiiiii...

2009-01-15T11:41:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

tagged answered!

to kak aimi..thanks eh..

1. what is the most important in my life? hmm... family & friends.. as much as i am attached or not..frens still comes over anything..

2.what is the last thing you've bought with your money? milk..ahahx..cos i nid to take care of my diet..

3.where do you wish to get married? hmmm..very diff qsn..i dun wanna get married here..but wat abt my relatives? hehehe...alah...ROMM aje lar..

4.how old do you think you will get permanently owned by you lover? as soon as my lover wants to get married to me? hehe. dunnoe lar. still studying what...

5.are you in love? sumthing like that. wif someone or something..hehe..

6.where was the last restaurant you had dinner at? hmm..dinner? rest? sounds diff since i haf been eating at home for dinners..

7.name the latest book you bought? bought? i dun buy books. i BORROW and READ books.

8.what is your full name? my full name is written there..at the top left hand corner of this blog..

9.do you prefer father or mother?both, no doubt bout it. hehe.

10.name the person you want to meet in you real life for the first time? Nabi Muhammad s.a.w.

11.christina or britney? britney..her songs are easier to sing..hehe..

12.do you do your own laundry? duuhh..

13.the most exciting place you wan to go? i am not sure. i just want it to be a place where there is snow, mountains, countryside, beach, caves, ahahahahx..everything!

14. point 5 things about the person who tagged you?
-one of my closest cuz
-into theatre.hehe.
-wants to be the director
-sentiase step muda.hehe.
-and..i dunnoe what else to write..hehhe..

15.8 things you passionate about?
-books
-motorbikes
-silat
-plants
-earth
-malay language
-music
- friends

16.8 books you read recently?
- twilight
- the phantom
- watchers
- from the corner of his eye
-ermm..oni dat since i am too busy to read books now..

17.8 people you will tag
- syaz
- dzahir
- nessie
- fina..

oklahh...
no more ideas..heheh..

diana..
*twinKLEs

my eye!!

2009-01-12T20:22:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

i just got well..but heck it..my right eye turned red..like..BLOODSHOT RED..urgh..and it sooo weird cos its oni on one side of the eye that turned red..and my other side and the other eye looked normal..so well, i haf noticed that ppl are looking at me WEIRDLY.

I KNOW. i look like a bloodthirsty vampire. *ooh..how sexy does dat sound rite..? mcm Edward! hehe..HAWTNESS..*

but pls dun avoid me. hehe. cos well....i did went to the doctor and he oni said dat i am suffering from conjunctival haemorrhage..this happens when the blood vessels in my eyes burst...urgh..due to heat i think...ahahx...so well, the doctor said that there is no medication for my eyes..and that it will heal by itself in 1-2 weeks...

1-2 weeks wif a BLARDY eye? hehehe..

JGN KETAWE TAU. DUN LAUGH.

hehe...
and i am laughing..ahahhahahahahx............

oh..and erm...my results is doing OKAY! hehe.. i got average Bs and Cs...

wat else eh?

hmmmmmmmmm....

i tink i gtg now..

diana..
*twinKLEs

LIFE has nvr been unfair.

2009-01-10T17:34:00.001+08:00

dear bloggy..

and he said," I will never let you go.."

diana..

*twinKLEs

ps: me too. ahahx. 'camarel' kape. hehe.

to those in my past, and i mean my ex, how i wish it cud be back like it used to, but i guess, now its hopeless. i am fine the way i am now. i will always remember u.

a very unhappy new year.

2009-01-03T23:05:00.003+08:00

dear bloggy..

i dunnoe..but i tink that the new yr wasnt as happy as i had expected it to be..
i haf been having alot of personal probs lately..and i mean alot..and i mean these probs are one of the worst challenges Allah swt has given me..and well, i try as much to endure these probs..i just hope i haf more courage to go thru more in the years to come...

niwaes, i am spending my days now wifout that sumone special.
i am sorry musadiq...i told u that i want to change, i desire to change..but u seem to be reluctant abt it..so i haf no other choice but to leave u..i am sorry..u will always be sumone dear to me..but i dun wan to have any contact wif u..cos it hurts...alot..

okay..

firstly, thanks to syaz...for bringing me to my senses..and always sticking wif me..and yeah...loving me for who i am..
thanks to zaya..for ur concern...
thanks to my pesilats...for ur understanding..i will prove my best for my regu trials okay..
and lastly..
to dzahir..thanks for being that blessing in disguise..

ohkay..

i guess i wanna be alone for now...

diana..
*twinKLes

2008-12-23T16:38:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

sumhow gotten over my mild depression..
hehe...
but i miss alot of stuffs when i went for the batam trip..
fyi, i went for the batam trip to join the SIFE (Students in Free Enterprise) competition..
if none of you noes abt it, its actually a competition that lets students to solve a problem in a community..and let the community to learn and benefit from it..
so in my case, its a small fishing community in batam...
i cant act say too much in detail here as this my compromise my sch's place in the competition since the competition will start in june next yr..there will be 2 rounds..first, nationally..second, internationally..
i really hope that SP could win the national competition like the SIFE team this yr.and hopefully we can go for the international competition which will be held in BERLIN!! whee~ hehehe..

the Silat camp which i went before the Batam trip was also considered a success as not many problems had arised...and well...everything went quite smoothly..hehehehe...not many injuries..just standard bruises and pain..hehehe....i lost my match again..seriously, i dun feel like joining the tanding part of the IVP next yr..i just wanna focus on regu...PLEASSSEEEE!!!

and well..
i missed my 2nd anni wif beloved baby..hehehe...
sowie k dear...u noe i didnt do it purposely..and i did it for my own good sake..since studies are our priority rite?
and i really hope that this relationship is serious..as my parents haf gotten to noe abt it and questioning me alot...

haiiixxx..

and sch is starting next wk!
damn!
haf to finish all reports asap..
hehe..

take care k everyone..
and to my peeps celebrating xmas..
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
hehehehe..

diana..
*twinKLES

OUT FOR A BREAK.

2008-12-22T20:59:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

diana apologised...
but she will not be updating this blog for some time in the future..
please understand...
and she knows you guys would since not many peeps read thru this blog..

so well..
just take care and haf fun in the coming new year..

diana..
*twiNKLEs

*she was covered by those clouds. making it impossible to shine.

campcampcampcamp

2008-12-09T22:18:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

gonna be busy at CAMP tmr till SATURDAY!!
so will oni update next wk..
dun ask why cos i'll update when i can..

see u all!!

wish me luck!!

diana..
*TwinKLEs

his bdae!

2008-12-05T00:00:00.000+08:00

TO MY LOVELIEST SWEETEST DEAREST DEARIE..hehehe..

May you always be blessed with prosperity and happiness..especially in our relationship...i know u ar one year older so i hope u will be more matured...smile more often as you look HAWT when u are smiling..i hope all ur wishes will come true okayyy..

I LOVE YOU BUCKETLOADS!!

MUAX!!

diana..

*twinKLEs

ps:hehe..crazy me..rmb our date! xP

his BDAE coming!!

2008-11-28T17:07:00.001+08:00

dear bloggy...

ONE week left to someone's BIRTHDAY!!! ahahx..
that person would be 22 yrs old this year..
and i cant wait for it!
ahahx.
but i haf no idea what to buy for him..
any ideas ppl?
ahahx..

oklah..random post as i am studying MST..

hehe..
oh and all the best for ur PAPERS EVERYONE!!!

diana..
*twiNKLEs

hehe. random

2008-11-25T21:44:00.004+08:00

dear bloggy...

i noe dat my bdae has long...gone..hehe...but i haf the link to the slideshow beloved syaz made for me..hehe..in it are some pics which i nvr realised i took..hehehe...so yeah...

i find the slideshow very sweet..and it really brings me back to those times where i truly enjoyed myself as a student in BP..see all my antics larr..and laugh like how i laughed..hehhee..

ENJOY!

http://s277.photobucket.com/albums/kk66/lurvesyaz/diana/?action=view&current=7bd0e015.pbw

diana..
*twiNKLEs

confusionisma

2008-11-21T18:25:00.003+08:00

dear bloggy..

i am sitting here in the silat room alone. solemnly thinking abt all the stuffs that has been happening wifout even me realising it had happened..

confused by what i am saying?
daYmn. i myself am confused too. hehe.

ever since i got busy..seems like my friendster just went dead...again...ahahx..
dats twice in..erm..about 2/3 yrs? ahahx...
and sumhow i cudnt be bothered..but let it be known that friendster is the oni network website which i am really gonna update..Tagged, Melayu Singapura, Facebook, Multiply.. quite rarely lar...
cos well..i haf to 'focus on one thing...and be good at it, rather than focus on everything and be good at none...' summore since i know that these stuff will really distract me from things that require more of my immediate attention..ahahx..

ohk..so well....
did i tell u all i went out wif syaz on weds before meetig mus? ahahx. well, bth of us enjoyed ourselves at city hall..ahahx..got sum pics but will take sum time before it will be uploaded..cos my new phone is quite a handful to handle..the Sony Ericsson C902..if u guys are wonderingwhat i bought..heck it lar..it cost me quite alot of money..but for the sake of my own fon and not relying on my parents nor friends, i sacrificed..u noe, my parents were the ones who were excited abt me buying the fon..now my mum wants a new fon too..ahhax..

k..niwaes, i managed to upload two grp pics from the LONG-GONE silat hari raya outings..check it out!

ooohh..
and well..i still think of Idris. why? haiiix...die dah kuar lame..tp kenape aku just tkleh lupekan die when i haf mus? and i am trying to cut down on sum frens..sorry nash...haiiixxx...but its for our own good..mine at least..

klaaaaaaaaaaahh..
lastly..
I HAF TO STOP BEING NICE TO YAN!!
and that's one promise i am gg to keep from today onwards. ahax.
actually cant wait till i go off for my trips and see him scramble for his own life.
serve him right for nvr making the right choice. and even when u do, u suck at handling ur decisions.

sorry.

diana..
*twinkLEs

finally.

2008-11-20T21:50:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy...

FINALLY after a month of not meeting HIM, we finally met yest at his hometown..
and DAMN he was late! ahahx.
but oh well...
for the sake of meeting my beloved, i would wait for him though it is really frustrating,,
so yeah..
it was our one mth...or...a yr 5 mths since we knew ea other...
although this time, its more trying for me..since i haf to be VERY patient wif him, i haf to say that i sincerely love him..
i really hope we could last till that always-ever-dreamt-of marriage..
ahahx..
stop the dreaming and back to the story...
we spent abt 2 hrs with ea other before i haf to go off..
and i just entered the mrt gantry when i msged him and said i missed him..
RABAKS kan? ahahx.

klahhhh..
cut short that sappy story..

and back to my present!
ahahx..
i just close silat frens would be there! ahahx.
the trip would be for 4 days, 3 nites and the total cost would be $200!
ahahx..
i dun mind the cost that much actually...but i just care abt the fact that my frens would be there too..so i wud enjoy myself more!
ahahx..

andddd...
my lecturer...Dr E chose me to go for this community projectwork in Batam..instead of India...details are not up yet...but well, i cant wait! summore projectwork! and i hope i can contribute for the upcoming SIFE competition..and make it a success..hehehe..

busy-busy me..

but my Mid-Semester Tests are coming in 2 wks! and the much-anticipated Silat camp is also coming!! ahahx...i dunnoe how in the world i can still laugh under all this pressure..
i just hope that all things would turn out rite..i dun want to imbalance myself at this very crucial junction in life...

ahahx..
speaking abt that..

i gtg now..
upcoming madrasah exams!!

hehe..

diana..
*twinKLes

FIVE WORDS!!

2008-11-18T22:05:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy...

five words oni: SYAZ CRASHED MY CLASS TODAY!!!
hehee..
she actually came down to my sch since she had nth better to do..
and she got lost in sch..ahahx..
i understand..sch is DAMN big uh..
she actually sat in class and pretended to be busy by using my lappy..hehee...
but she did help me in understanding the calculation part of the topic i was taught..(tk tahu malu eh..member jc yg tlg..ahahx)
dr xu didnt notice her at all uh..
ahahx..
then we went to mcd at sch to enjoy big mac and mcspicy..hehe..
and then we went to coswe pt to just window-shop for a new bag..ahahax..
found the bag but short on cash..so waiting till i get my pay...hehe..
and then i went home..
so well...
dats all for today...
a few hours left to the day..
wonder wat will happen...
will we get to mit or...will it just pass by like every other day?
haiix...

klah..
gtg now..

diana..
*twinKLES

CARAMEL FRAPPE!!!

2008-11-16T22:12:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

SATURDAY was one of the FUN-nest NIGHT OF MY LIFE!!!! ahahx..
actually the whole day uhhh..
cos in the morning i went out wif aqilah to watch HSM3 at VIVO..ahahx..
and then as we were having lunch, blur aqilah (sowie babes.. =p) realised that she hadnt finished a dued online quiz..so she rushed off leaving me with abg mamat..nasib abg mamat ade..if not, i would haf died of boredom..
cos my whole family actually dropped by VIVO after i stayed there for more than an hour..ahahx..
they asked me to wait there uh..so i was thankful abg mamat was working so at least i can hang out..hehe..
and then, when the family came, we just window-shopped and shopped again...ahahx..
at 5.30, i had to go off cos haf another date wif pesilats saying that there is sumting urgent to discuss therefore all of us haf to come down..
ahahx..

so...
met at city hall..and i tot oni 4 of us were there..skali...fourteen uhhh..ahahx...tk sangka budak2 silat ni jiwa..ahahx..
we went to tapau food from marina square and ate at a grass patc at the exit..(mcm bangla..i noe.. =p) sum of us bought caramel frappe and double choc from mcafe..and that made some of us high..(mcm org yg tgh type ni..) i got so high cos i drank the caramel frappe annndd...i also drank the big gulp that dean bought for us...ahahx...
then we walked to raffles place as sum of us wanted to pray..
in the meantime...we took LOADSA pics uh..we were super ROWDY! rowdier than the MATREPS and MINAHREPS there..ahahx..and we shared so may jokes that fifie cant stop laughing..ahahx..
shud see her laugh..
when she hears mus laughs, she laughs...then everyone laughs..
cos its damn spontaneous uh..
oklaarr..we went there to discuss abt sum stuffs..(which is damn minor and dun deserve any place in this blog. heh.)

and sooo..we went home at ard 9+..i reached home at 11 uh..ahahx..
damn late i tell u...
nasib get to talk wif mus for awhile..
ahahx..

NIWAES...
talking abt mus..
2 MORE DAYS!!

hehe..

diana..
*twinKLes

finally.

2008-11-14T23:52:00.001+08:00

dear bloggy...

finally..a's haf finished..so i can meet my besties!!

finally...i haf managed to buy a new hp and an mp3..

finally..i am managing my time as best as possible..(although i must say sumtimes i make mistakes..hehe..)

finally i am joining a perguruan..(wont tell u guys wat perguruan until i am confirmed.)

and finally..

i haf managed to pass my online quiz after MULTIPLE attempts..of more than 10 times..ahahx..

okayyy..

so i might be tired after all the rushing around here and there and everywhere and the double training i had just nw..but i am happy and satisfied..and nth will be able to justify that..

so yeah..

nowadays. free time is either spent at the silat rm to sleep or study...or meet wif peeps whom i haf not met for quite sum time..

and that's why i am apologising for not updating this beloved blog..

ahahx..

hope u guys enjoy this okayy?

take care!

diana

*twinKLEs

anew.

2008-11-10T22:27:00.002+08:00

that's what i feel now.
ahahax.feeling pink, black, white and gray.ahahax.

i dunnoe why i feel that i should fill up my time doing all the stuffs i wanna do rather than having free time doing nth at home. cos i noe i wont be studying at home.
so yeah. dats the reason why i wanna join STK and continue doing part-time job at Bgreens.

but i am really afraid that its gonna take a toll on my studies, me and family.
my frens, no probs cos i mit them almost every day..and when i can..bf, he is busy and me too..we usually catch up on stuffs at nite when we talk on the fon..

so well..
life is like that to me now. just study and keeping myself busy.

ahahx.

hmmm..
okaylar.
i cant think of aniting else to write about. mayb tmr.

diana.
*twinKLEs

and i cried on my birthday.

2008-10-20T09:31:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..
i tink my 18th birthday was more of a disaster than a blessing..
cos well, i didnt get to celebrate it wif ALL my friends..and then my plans with my family were cocked up..
so well..
in the end, nth went as expected..

firstly, i was supposed to meet mus at 10.30 and to wake him up at 9..
and i called him from 9 to god-noes-when...and guess wat..he woke up at 11! URGH! WTF!
cos his fon was on silent mode..so well..everything just cocked up from then..cos he cant mit me at newton cos his cuzs were ard..den change to bugis..and i had to wait again..*I HATE WAITING OKAY!* and he finally arrived..
managed to spend SOME time with him..which oni constitutes of less than an hour..after waiting for MORE THAN 2 HRS! URGH! *okay..i am sorry i am spilling everyting out..but i am just damn pissed off..and haf to tell everything from the start..*
he gave me my bdae pressie which i appreciate alot..and...*drumroll pls* he asked me to be his gal..
ohkay..well..dat was supposed to be the highlight of the day..and yeah..i was expecting it..so well, i accepted..i still love him..and i do..i cherish him alot! but i hate watever happened on my bdae.
and aft dat, we ate some snacks and drank sum drinks..and then i am otw home..

see..how boring was my bdae...

and i got home..and daddy was in a fit..he said i cocked up the plans cos i went to met mus..tp SORRY SIKIT EH. u said we are gg out in the late aftnn. i was back ard 3 okay.. and becos i cocked things up, our earlier plan to go out together as a family was scrapped. IMAGINE DAT!! u expect to celerate wif all ur loved ones but it was cancelled due to mommy working..and den..to celebrate wif oni my family was also SCRAPPED DUE TO A STUPID REASON!

so who didnt cry? tell me. tell me who wouldnt? my prepaid ran low so i cudnt get any msgs. and i dunnoe who cared enuf to send me msgs. so it just took a toll on me and i started to cry badly. i called yan, who didnt pick up. called aqilah, engaged, cant call the rest of my besties cos firstly, i didnt get their msgs so i dunnoe whether they rmbrd..if they dun, and i called, they'll feel bad..and i dun want that to happen..so well..i tried to call suf lar..and she didnt pick up..so well...i just gave up and called abg mamat..
which resulted in me just crying non-stop.

abg mamat: kenape adik nangis?
me: psl everything cocked up.
abg: tkpelah. esok leh celebrate dgn abg pe..
me: cried. *like hello. i am busy. i cant celebrate animore. and well, i want to celebrate wif everyone not wif u oni dammit.*
abg: nape nangis niiiii? esok jumpe abg k.
me: and i blew up! i practically screamed into the fon. kenape asik adik kene jumpe abg? y must i be the one to go to u. not the other way ard. all friends are the same. time susah, cari adik and yeah. i try like hell to come and mit u guys. then time i am crying like shit ni. tkde org nk jumpe adik. if u fucking love me kan, like every faggot says, ape kate come down to sch tmr, sit in front of my classroom door and wait for me?! too diff to prove u love me?! well. if u cant even pick up ur balls to meet me, forget dat i am ur sister.
abg: WHY ARE U LIKE THIS? WHY CANT U JUST SAY IT TO ME NICELY?
me: cos u are blardy stupid to say such a stupid, insensitive thing when i am already in this mood.
abg: OKAY. DEN TMR I MEET U IN SCH AT WAT TIME? 5.30? OKAY I'LL BE THERE.
and he hang up.

see? dat was dat...and i was still crying when i got another foncall..by sufy..but anum answered..ahahx..and yeah.. i was trying to not show i was crying tp bile sufy angkat i started to cry VERY BADLY that she got worried and pass to zaya ..ahahx...she tot it was becos of mus..tp mus tk pape pun...and well..i told the whole story..so, all of them came to my house...i tot it was oni anum , zaya and sufy..rupe2 nye the whole bp gang...they sang me a bdae song and they got me chocolates..ahahx..*THANKS K KORG! U GUYS MADE ME SMILE INSTEAD OF CRYING! hehe..*

actually i cried when sufy picked up the fon cos i didnt expect her to call..since kite mcm silent treatment kan..and well..when i called, though she didnt pick up, she actually called back to noe why i called..so well..mcm dulu lar..before kite tk bbl..hmmm..simply ckp eh..i am happy die bbl dgn aku..
THANKS SUFY! i hope kite leh mcm dulu. it sucks not having u ard.

i tink after dat, things seems to brighten up. cos i topped up my hp and got alot of msgs from alot of peeps..so well..mcm happy kan..so not everyone forgot..ahahx..but still wud haf love it if i get to spend it wif all of my frens and family..

thanks again to..
priya
aqilah
abg mamat
sufy
syaz
zul silat
zul mendaki
zulhan
syimah
fina
ain
huda
inessa
hadi
mas
huda
rak
haikal
haz
nazreen
liyana
huda

and of course..

MY DEAREST MUSADIQ..
for making my life complete..

diana..
*twinKLEs

a special day just for me?

2008-10-18T21:38:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

in a few hours, its gonna be my 18th bdae but i tell u, its not gonna be the same dae dat i ever had..
i wonder whether there would be more laughter and joy than last yr..
but i guess not larrr..just average since everyone is busy..

hmmm....klah..i wont want to talk abt dat..
i would love to talk abt the nite cycling..
its considered a success if u tink abt the fact that it ended WAAAAYY earlier than expected..
i managed to cycle 47km..on the road..at night..
SOOO FUNN!!!!
hehe..
and i also managed to watch the sunrise..and i tell you, it was a really majestic view..
although now, my butt is aching, my thighs are screaming, and my head is pounding..tired..but i am just too excited to sleep..
so now just resting lar..
ahahax..
the nite cycling was an eye opener..alot of things happened that made me ponder abt alot of stuffs..how sumtimes u tink dat happiness is forever but cud just disappear in a blink of an eye...
and well..how love can just come knocking at the door of your heart..
ahahax..
see? cant find the link btwn love and nite cycling?
ask me k..
oh..
and pics kan..
i'll update soon k.....

1hour 57mins left.
hehe..

diana..
*twinkLEs

tired. damn it.

2008-10-14T04:57:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

5 MORE DAYS!

ahhax.
i pretend to be hyper to mask my tiredness..
cos actually at 5 am this morning i am in sch..in silat room..trying to not sleep..cos of all mfrens sleeping..

well..i had the last recce for the upcoming nite cycling event..and well..its supposed to end by 10.35..instead...it ended at 12am..and then we had to send a fren of ours home..and then guess wat happened? we got a FLAT tire in the middle of punggol..and heck it lar..we had to wait for 2 hrs before anione attended to us..not even any good samaritan actuay stopped to help us out..ohkay..so well..
after 2 hrs of waiting obviously everyone is tired and sleepy..and hungry..
so well..after repairing the lorry..we had a late supper-cum-early breakfast..ahahahx..
but i didnt eat cos i was feeling sucky..

and i am still feeling sucky now.ahahx.

klah.
haf to quit rambling cos i nid the toilet quite urgently. ahahx.

btw yeah!!! JALAN RAYA TODAEEE!!

hehehe..

k..k..

tc..

diana..
*twinKLEs

time for alot of apologies

2008-10-07T13:19:00.002+08:00

dearest bloggy..

i am seriously sorry for not updating that much..
like i say..i am getting too busy with all the stuffs happening in my life..
but thank God for small blessings..
ITP is ending this Saturday and school is starting next week...

hmm..before i start rambling on about my school term next wk..i think i would rather start on something else..

such as...

WISHING ALL MUSLIMS, EID MUBARAK..
MAAF ZAHIR AND BATIN...

this goes out especially to my family members whom i still havent managed to seek forgiveness, my relatives who are always too busy to spend some time strengthening family ties, to my friends, besties or not, and lastly for that special someone who has just appeared in my life..

i would like to seek forgiveness from all of you shoild i have ever raised my voice at you, thought of bad thoughts about you, gossiped about u, hurt ur feelings directly or indirectly and should i disappoint you one too many times..

i am sorry and i would really hope u cud accept my apology..

================================================

back to other stuffs..
ITP:

gonna end this saturday, 11/10..
somehow excited to just leave this place and get out of this damn routine of being tired and stressed out..
however, i am gonna miss my colleagues too..esp santhi, maria, ms lo and of course marnop..hehehe..
they have helped me alot whenever i nid advice, instructions or a helping hand during my stay here..
and i know though THE boss might be a little over-bearing, he is still the boss and he has to act that way to make sure all stuffs are done..(though i disapprove of the choice of languages used..)
and yeah..
i really hope that the bond we share now is not forgotten once i stepped out of this premises..

to tell u the truth..life at work is nvr boring..
i have so many stories to share..yet not enuf time and not sure whether everyone is interested rite?
so rather than i bore u guys to death, u guys can always ask me whenever u see me!
hehe..

==========================================

HARI RAYA:

how was it for me?
firstly, kinda boring..
cos seriously, i didnt feel the spirit of celebrating it this yr..partly was becos i am always busy during the fasting month..so i didnt get to feel the excitement building up..
secondly, sad..
cos my relatives were mostly celebrating back at our hometown and i cudnt follow..so well..just imagine the sadness i felt..and also cos the remaining relatives back here were either to busy to mit up or just dun see the point of meeting up..
thirdly, quite fun..
cos i dunnoe lar..just meeting ur lil cuzs make u smile oooh soo much!
ahahx..
fourthly..i cant get enuf of it!
i cant go visiting as much as my jc frens are having their a's...and my poly mates arent even contacting me..and well..i am just damn busy..hehe..

okaylar..
but for the sake of meeting my beloved bpian frens, my madrasah frens, my god-sis, and every other fren dat doesnt fit in most of my categories, i am gonna spare some time for visiting okay?
and the first one would be my silat raya outing this SATURDAY too!
hehe...
hope to see all my beloved pesilats.

============================================================

18th birthday!!

coming up in 12 days..
cant say i am excited since all my plans are pending..
and i can say its confirmed i cant celebrate it wif my frens who shared my birthday happiness the year before..(u noe hu i mean okay..)
well..gonna say dat its gonna be kinda sad..cos seriously, i had hoped that my 18th would be one of the best bdaes i would ever had..but seeing the condition now..i guess not..
HAIX!
i might haf alot of frens, but the frens that i really treasure are just having their own busy plans and i just wont intefere wif them..(dun mean to offend nibody..just saying the truth..)
and i hope again that i wont cry on my bday again..

ahahx..

k..

==========================================================

and am sorry about not blogging here too much..
cos i have started another blog at another website..where i mostly share my poems and stuffs like that..
sumhow i am happier and more satisfied as i get responses so at least i noe whether i nid to improve or not..

but i love this blog too okay.

xp

============================================================

He is sumhow testing me to the limit. sumtimes i dunnoe whether to ust scream at him and leave him stranded alone. but somehow, he always manage to get at my softer side. urgh.
i am disappointed with the new him. i long for the old him. haix.
i dunnoe whether everything will work out or not. and if it doesnt, i am gonna accept it. not gonna cry again. stupid thing to do. cry. and cry. and cry.
urgh.

=============================================================

klah..
thanks again to mas for the very advanced bday present!
(i tink u guys just love giving me watches ehk?) ahahx

take care everyone..
will update again soon..insya'allah..

diana..
*twinKLEs

ITP changed me.

2008-09-24T22:22:00.003+08:00

dear bloggy..

ITP changed me sooo much..

nowadays i think sooo much abt trees and plants that it is really sickening me up..

but then, now i appreciate more abt the knowledge that i haf for them..

and like i say, ever since ITP started, i am missing my frens sooo much..and esp my family..i dun get to spend time wif them nimore..

and its the fasting month..

thank god i still haf the time to go and do our usual trips to geylang..and buying our hari raya costumes..

and the hari raya semangat is gone..

no more excitement for the coming hari raya..

but i hope i can go out wif my besties and ask for forgiveness from my friends and relatives and family members....

i really miss sumone lar...and i hope that things can get to be wat it used to be..its really sickening to not be able to contact u when we were sooo damn closed together once..why cant we just let go of our diffs and get back together? the month of forgiveness is coming..so pls..forgive me for my mistakes. pls. I am really sincerely very sorry for all my mistakes.

and my upcoming deadline wif another person is looming close. i wonder whether it would all work out. i really wish to noe whether the waiting wud end soon.

allloooot of things on my mind but no time to sort it all out..
hope dat it would all end soon..

take care everyone..

diana..
*twinKLEs

phewwww!

2008-09-03T21:18:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

i am really sorry for not updating much but seriously, i am very busy during this period dat i dun even haf room to just sit down and relax..

and also really sorry for not being able to wish all my peeps for the month of Ramadhan..
so before aniting else, SELAMAT BERPUASA DI DALAM BULAN MULIA, BULAN RAMADHAN BUAT SEMUA UMAT MUSLIM DI SINGAPURA MAHUPUN DI DUNIA. hehe.

okay..

so i should really update right before i haf no more time rite?
ahahax..
okay..
so here goes.

currently, i am doing my ITP at a horticulture company which deals with hydroponics and plant growing mainly for commercial purposes. so well, my company is sumwhere in yishun, khatib area..and currently my job requires alot of outdoor work..and sumtimes it could be labour too..so u noe wat i mean, when i say i am tired..so work starts at 8 am sharp and ends around 5.30 pm..(notice me saying around 5.30? well..cause its nvr on time..ahahx.) my boss is nice though at times, he can be unexpected cos he cud just scream at any of his workers for not doing their job properly..my colleagues are okay..my project manager is a chinese, the clerks and secretary indian (but can speak 3 languages..har har..) and the labour workers are mainly foreigners..so..well..sumtimes we haf problems in communicating but the foreign workers are very nice lar..hehehe..they know that me and babe aqilah are fasting so they always do the more difficult work..(doesnt mean that our job is less tiring or less difficult okay..)

my tasks follow a schedule..
we come in the morning, must first find scented flowers to scent our office..then go to the hydroponics area to check on the seedings we planted and then check on the rooftop gardening plants to also check on their growths..then we do some gardening work until lunch..
for lunch, just a break during which i always sleep..hehe..and then we continue with office work..
and to compare btwn bth jobs, office work is damningly more tiring than outdoor work..
cos my eyes are always strained lar..and my fingers and arms are tired from doing computer work..and my body cramped larrrr..urghhh...the office work usually right, we do accounting..and aloooot of typing for me..all becos i do my job very fast larrr..boring tau! ahahax.

and well..during fasting also, i still haf my tuition to attend to..so well..on mondays and thursdays, i haf to rush from yishun to jrg west.. and on weds and fri, got silat training, although i dun cum, but just come down to meet pesilats...and do my admin work for silat..ahahx..stress lar..i spend so lil time wif my family..even wkends i dun tink i can send alot of time wif them lar..cos wkends i plan to go shopping and break fast wif frens...HAIIIIXXX!!

oh..talking about shopping rite, my mum has decided the colours for out hari raya outfit..its gonna be beige for kurung..and navy blue for kebaya..ahahax..and i haf already decided the shoes lar..oni..the tudung..but i plan to wear shawl mcm aqilah talked to me about kan babes!
hehe..sumhow cant wait..but i can only shop if i get my pay TOMORROW lar...urggghh..

and last update..
its gonna be a lil bit sappy lar k..
but sumone has entered my life again..
and i hope its for the best...cos i dun wanna be sad again larrr..
wait another 1 mth and 17 days la k..for more updates! hehehe..

AND I MISS ALL MY PEEPS!! i miss kaya n kahyan cos life aint the same wifout u guys wif me to listen and tease me every single day..i hope u guys are having fun for ur ITP too okay..we'll meet you guys soon k..
i miss syaz and fina..very very very very very much!! its been a long time since i last saw u guys...and u guys are nw sooo busy wif ur a's to meet me!! but i dun mind as long as u guys get great results for ur a's, i tink its worth it u guys study and not get distracted by my antics..hehe.
but i noe i'll meet u guys during puase..we MUST buka same2 at least once! okayyy..
and ALL the best for ur papers k babes..
i miss you guys larrr..i wanna get a hug....

so all in all..dats all for my update at this moment..
pls stay tuned for the next update!!

take care all!! =)

none

2008-08-30T11:21:00.000+08:00

dear bloggy..

two words only.

EXAMS OVER!!

Just random updates.

2008-08-16T22:13:00.005+08:00

dear bloggy..

just wanted to update so that i can just not think about other important stuffs..

ahahahx...

niwaes, last wk, Weds 6th August 2008 was Poly50.

For those who dunnoe what event this is, its the relay race around my campus. Guess how many rounds are we supposed to run? 50. duh. hehehe.

and well..if u tink its tiring, i agree.

but i pity the guys lar. cos for this race, girls are oni allowed to run 6 rounds. the rest are done by guys. and well...in each team there are oni 7 guys and 3 girls..

the distance btwn ea checkpoints is oni 200m BUT the tricky part is to find ur teammates in the mass of bodies...imagine the supporters, the helpers, the teams which number 121 teams lar...

its like..finding...a needle in a haystack...

especially for me, who is short..like my other teammate, Falina..

we suffered cos we had to find our teammates and to avoid crashing into other runners and cause accidents..

and so..like i said in earlier posts..

SPSC got 45th out of 121 teams.

so dats good rite?

summore i was like the oni runner n black tudung, longsleeves and long pants..

sum thought that its weird dat i can run in that outfit lar..

but I PROVED IT RITE!!

even tudung gals can run okayyy..

ahahx..

so here are the PICS!!

and then on National Day, i had two invitations to wedding..

one was my mum's fren's daughter..

the other one, is my kak sedare angkat..dun ask me how or why..ahahx..

and well..my kak sedare's wedding was SUPER-GRAND!

the deco already cost abt 28k. no incl food okay.

ahahx.

i was sooo WOWed by the deco but i thought that its a waste of money..

seriously.

however, on that day, my whole family happened to be in gold..cos we usually wore the same colour..so well, at my cuz's wedding, the dj act approached us saying:

"So here we have a family invited from Brunei since all of us were in gold.."

ahahahax..

paiseh lar..

we attracted more attention than the family itself...

so here is our pic lar..

ahahx.

and then in the afternoon we went to celebrate NATIONAL DAY at MARINA BAY!!

hehehe..

pics of fireworks!!

and so..dats all!!

hehehe.

and..cant really update next wk tau..

EXAMS ARE HERE!!

heheh..

gtg now..

diana..

*twinKLEs

this date.

2008-08-10T23:21:00.003+08:00

dear bloggy..

this date is very memorable for me.
i feel like crying just thinking abt this day..
last year,
on this date, at 11.30am, a certain guy who had filled my heart, had asked me to be his. and only his.
that historical date was supposed to be celebrated again this year. but it was not meant to be. being his was only for some time. yet, the feelings and memories still lingered on. till now. i still wonder about him. still miss him. still have those feelings for him but sumhow, this heart is not ready for another charade of pain and disappointment.

but well..
this person here who had promised to shield herself from that pain has just been hurt again. by a specific member of the opposite species in fact. a mat rempit. and she was hurt badly cos well, f the humilitation that guy had spewed to her face when she was plain confused of whatever that is happening. that humiliation is enuf to break the shield she had around herself. and in the end, she was the victim in the story. she was the victim of disappointment.
today, not only has she failed in her "relationship", she failed in friendship too.
she had hurt the feelings of her best friend by not telling news she heard. haix.
she could only offer apologies but she knows that the scar will still be there whatever happens.

yet,
she was cheered up by a fren who said dat mat rempit is a sorry piece of shyt. he acted dat way cos he cant control his own emotions and too egoistic that he expects ppl to listen and treat him the way he wants them to. dat kind of a guy wont last long in life. and another fren said dat she shudnt feel upset by such idiotic comments since that fren noes dat she is one helluva great gal. any guy who gets her is a lucky guy since that fren thinks that she is very nice, cute and fun to be with.

those comments brighten up her mood. made her smile. but the biggest smile was contributed by getting a nudge by that someone who had promised to be wif her the past yr before. that same guy who asked her to be his on this date.

he had changed. totally. new image. specs. hawt-ness oozing from his pictures. yet, she didnt managed to chat wif dat guy since dat guy left wifout a word.

now she's left alone again. accompanied by her fren whom she shares the room wif for the night.
and her only distraction is either this piece of technology or the sheafs of notes spread out on the bed. cos tomorrow is her test..and the start of many more tests to come...she has no other choice but to sacrifice her spare time to study although sumtimes temptation overcomes her desire to just study. she has to put aside time too for her extra classes and tuition..and the upcoming attachment and presentation keeps her busy time after time..

she just has to be patient, strong and smart in handling all these stuffs and not get any major headaches over anything..
but for now, she needs her rest..
cos she has been out for the whole day..
not counting the other stuffs that bothered her..

anyways, to that person who had once filled her heart, she still misses you.
and well...thanks for the nudge on this day which was supposed to be their special day..

diana..
*twinKLEs

GOT A JOB!!

2008-08-06T23:09:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy...

I GOT A JOB!
wakakaka..
actually just tutoring lar..
so i am likeee very busyyy..hehehehhe..

so happy that i haf finally got a job..
and well..
with all the things happening in my life, having sumthing to fill my free time is a GREAT thing..
i really nid to just chill and relax!
ahahax...

okay..
actually quite tired after poly50..
the relay race was FUN!! hehee..
but tiring..
had fun wif my juniors and my fellow fwens too..ahahax..

and got a lot of PICS!!
hehehe...
insya'allah will update...

have to nurse my pain and get enuf rest before tomorrow..

first DAY!!

hehehe..

diana..
*twinkLes

ITP coming!

2008-08-04T09:18:00.003+08:00

dear bloggy..

alhamdulillah!
got my itp attachment to the company: Blooms and Greens Pte.Ltd...will be doing hydroponics and plant culturing work..

though it will be during the fasting month and will extend thru hari raya..
nvm, what matters is the experience and getting one thing done at a time..
at least my holidays for the next sem is FREE!! hehe..can work for a larger salary..or mayb study more..
ahahax..

me and aqilah will be doing the same itp, while kaya will be doing ALS Chem tech and Kahyan, if its her luck, will be getting either the Biopolis job or the NUH job! and the newest person in our planned FYP group is Kristin! ahahx..and she said she is confirmed to be in the OITP to Shnghai..
so well..not alot of worries..

i am actually enjoying myself though the last few days was the worst i haf had in a few months..
i didnt realised dat me being too nice to others is really eating into myself..like seriously..eating myself inside big time..
and it really sucks..
syaz was the one who pointed it out to me..a couple of probs are really killing me nw..
and one of them is occuring domestically..the other one is my fwen, yan..
i am damn worried abt that mat lar..
i dun want to see him like he was once..but seriously, if he cant change..then fine..i cant be bothered animore..

haiixxx...

i want my old life back before all this happened..
and yeah..
i am happy and thankful dat at least i haf frens hu still care but hu noes that i might lose everyone one day?
haiiiixxxx..

i dunnoe what else to do.
i dunnoe whether to run away or cry or just ignore things.
haix.

pls God, give me some strength.

diana..
*twinKLEs

what did i do wrong?

2008-07-31T11:45:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

now is like the prime time to freak out and just cry..

what wif all the deadlines looming and not enuf time to just finish it all up..
its not dat i cant do time management..but its seriously not enuf time..
my report which has to be done in a grp is the most troublesome..cos since we dun hang out together, we cant seem to find a slot dat is the most convenient for us..
in the end, we discuss the lunch during lunch and such..

really2 troublesome..

and i got my results for BCT and i failed.
though i expected dat, but i am totally disappointed cos i studied..and i really2 studied..not like in the past in which i study as i play..
now when i mean study, i really did.

HAIX.

and enuf wif dat problem, i haf other problem to handle..esp the hp prob..
cant contact anione at the time and dat mat who is responsible pun asik busy..
NAK AJE AKU MAKI MUKE DIE!! but its partly my fault too..
so pls yan, respect me okay.
i helped u at least amek kisah okay.

urgh. FCUK LAR.

and abg mamat is bugging me again. and i tell u, no one understands the prob dat yan is facing thru and they also dun understand the prob and the reason why i helped him..
guess wat? dat bugs me. i wish dat one day if u are in his shyt, u wud not ask anione's help.

URGH.

finished complaining.

just want to be alone.

no use making promises if it aint fulfilled k..*this is referring to guy I and guy M.
u guys can go in the dumps wifout pulling me too!

take care!!

diana..
*twinKLEs

How would you like to be remembered?

2008-07-27T21:31:00.004+08:00

dear bloggy..

i was reading thru one of my old diary..and one entry really made me think about myself..
this diary was written during the period when i was working at Watson's..so i had alot of time to think..ahahx...

here goes:

how would you like to be remembered?

as a girl that has achieved most in her life..this is because i wanna die young..i dun wanna be a burden to anione...i want ppl to rmb me as that unique gal..not really smart and not really bad..a lil' crazy, very manja, swit and caring..i hope i haf made my parents proud, i had taken really good care of my siblings and ~~that my guy and my exs haf had enuf of my love~~...urm...dat shud be all..

(14/12/2006)

and...

this sajak..

di akhir pementasan ini

tirai ditutup

sepi menggamit suasana

aku duduk termenung seketika

sepintas lalu

memori demi memori

indah dan pahit

memnuhi ruand fikiranku

biarpun ianya hanyalah

tinggal kenangan bagiku

akanku simpan

buat selamanya

sebagai iktibar

maafkan diriku..

*actually i dunnoe why i said the maafkan ku part there...so ahahx..

======================

niwaes...

guess wat?

i finally met my newest baby cuz just now!! cos there was the cukur rambut ceremony..

and most of my cuz's were there..

esp haikal and gang whom i havent met for quite some time..

alot of jokes were shared..and i had lots of fun, laughter and food!

hehehe..

my adik2 sedare eh..all grew to be taller and bigger than me...and now ur big sister, Kak Nana is shorter and smaller rite..but dun play2 okay..i smack u den u all noe! ahahx..

and here are the pics i haf of Baby Syakil!! hehehe..

i look like a proud mother rite? =)

uhuh..i noe..i am very happy..

CUTE KANNNN!!! hehehe..

ESPECIALLY THIS PIC!! hehehe...

okay..so u haf seen him rite?

lets see how he is 18 yrs down the road! hehe.. i'll be 36 by then..aahhax..

diana..

*twinKLEs

was that what i wanted?

2008-07-26T11:51:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy..

I turned down a guy last Thursday cos I didnt think dat we cud be together though he had promised to change..
I am sorry..but I dun want to be miserable and unhappy cos i know that we just cant work things out..
and yeah..I wud rather hurt u now than later...
I need time to get to noe u, to really know u..not just to share probs and feelings..
I need to trust u..cos i hate to regret later..
and I need u to understand me..I have alot of diff wif u..and I wish to change for the better..I want to bury that old diana from ever being exposed again..and i need u to understand dat..so u wont ever make me turn into that old diana..
I dun ever wish to.

and the probs that is bothering me for the past few wks is really taking a toll on me..

so, I hope u can accept why I did what I did and please, just move on without me.

To others who have been getting all the attention from me, I mean guys, please, that Diana would not last long..so please be prepared..
Thanks.

======================================

My exams are coming and all I have to do is revise, study and pray for the best..I hope I wont disappoint myself again..

Oh and I am so sorry I cant be serious during silat training..I have to laugh rather than I cry in pain..

ahahax..

And I hope that the plans for the upcoming Night Cycling would be a success..Insya'allah..

And to all my friends..those who are close to me or not,
All the best for your upcoming tests and exams..PLEASE REVISE AND STUDY..put aside other unnecessary stuff for now..

diana..
*twinKLEs

screw up

2008-07-24T21:58:00.000+08:00

dear bloggy..

i hate it whe i have probs, and everyone else in the world have problems. but u cant run away from it can u? ahahax.

me, as usual will always feel like helping others out. but well, sumtimes u screw up big-time. and then u regret and it will become another problem. tell me, why am i soooo like this?
urgh.

okay. i haf to get back to my work but i just had to type sumthing here lar.

take care..

diana..
*twiNKLEs

dugaan?

2008-07-22T22:15:00.001+08:00

dear bloggy..

It seems that He works in really mysterious ways which no one could decipher the reasons why He does it that way..

The reasons why i am saying so is because of a few incidents that had happened in the last few weeks.

In the past few weeks, I have stumbled upon old acquaintances from primary school, old admirers (ahahax.) and acquaintances who are somehow acquainted with friends of mine. It just made me wonder why I met them.

And the normal problems such as BGR, family and friends are never-ending. But somehow, there is always someone for me to confide in. For me to just console myself and get encouragement to just face the world and the problems face on. I always have to remind myself that there is always a possibility for me to get more heart-wrenching problems as time goes by. (lyk duh. i am oni 17 gg on to 18. what major probs do u expect me to compare wif those adults?) I also have to always remind myself that whatever problems i am facing, there is this ONE person who will never ever leave me whatever happens. and that is Him.

There is a reason for everything that has happened. I might not know what are the real reasons for them but maybe He wants to remind me that there are always someone out there who remembers me and will. Maybe He wants me to think on the positive side and to never forget Him. Maybe he wants me to be strong and face the problems on bravely.

Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

Whatever it is, I would not let these problems to hamper my happiness.

Never. Although I might shed tears and have headaches over them.

Anyways, thanks my dearest Inessa for your advice and encouragement. (Yes, I know. I should be thankful yang dia masih balik dan masih meluangkan masa bersama kita.)

Seriously, I cannot wait until my besties finish their A's then we could spend alot of time together. Though I know that Ness might not be here with us, but u are always remembered. We will count the days until you get back here! (holidays maybe. hehe.)

Hmm..

Last Friday, got back my Applied Microbiology paper. I PASSED!! unbelievably! hehe..i though i had failed lar...

and last Sunday, got back my madrasah results. I PASSED TOO!! and quite good in fact..ahahx..

Alhamdulillah.

Last Saturday, went out wif besties to Boon Lay CC for a Bulan Bahasa Event organised by my alma meter, BPGHS. The whole thing was quite disappointing as I had expected a more organised event. It was quite..unorganised and I find that there are not enough volunteers to help out with the event. (dah tk cukup BPians kape???) and the performance by the Malay Literature students did not seem to get through to the PRIMARY SCH students. (ahahax.) I hope that this event would serve as a reminder and also a stepping stone for future students and events.

and Hmmmm..

Two days ago it was Racial Harmony Day. I could still remember those times when I go to school in my traditional costume to celebrate that day. It was one of those days which I look forward to alot. It was a day to show off your 'nicest' traditional costume. Sadly, it only happened in primary school, not in my secondary school. But guess what? On Monday, I actually wore a kebaya(though with jeans instead of the kain..) and it felt good. It felt good to be different. People might comment rude, nasty remarks, but I don't mind. Cause I was happy.

And I get to spend time with Abg and Ibu and Papa. (Now I know where my godbro got his looks from. ahahx.) and Boboy was cute but very restless. (btw, Boboy is a pet parrot.)

Lastly...Hmm..

now I treasure my family more and would love to spend more time with them. You never know when those memorable happy times with your family might end. It's better not to regret and feel sorry right?

Thanks to all those who are giving me alot of encouragement during these very trying times.

and I will smile, Syaz! =)))

get lost!

2008-07-19T17:22:00.002+08:00

dear bloggy...

i dunnoe why but suddenly the moodswing reigns.
so here goes:

Lepaskanlah genggaman tanganmu
Pergilah dia menantimu
Jangan menangis..
Janganlah kau menoleh ku lagi
Biarlah ku membawa diri
Jangan kau tanya ke mana ku pergi..

an excerpt from a song..

so u noe my mood rite?
ahahx.

dunnid to ask cos the mood will pass..hehehe..

diana..
*twinKLEs