* ETCHES *
Monday, March 31, 2008
dear bloggy...
haiiizzz...
u noe sumtimes i will get a pang of guilt or regret or jealousy whenever i check out my frens's blogs or profiles..even sumtimes when i view strangers's profile or blog, i will get those feelings..
kdg2 bingit jgklah kan...
why do i feel this? i guess its becos i feel as though i didnt achieve what i really want in my life..and when i see the smile on other ppl's faces, i get pissed off..
"Why can't I be like them? Why can't i be happy?"
haiix...i was once happy..really blissfully happy..and i had gullibly believed dat that happiness will last everlastingly...i lost that happiness and i dont believe that there can ever be a replacement for that..haiiixxx..and well..i was once happy of myself, i had achieved what i think was the best of myself...yet as the yrs go by i realised that the best of myself aint the best for others...and yeah..i admit i m not pretty, not smart and such..i haf to accept the way i am..but being a human, i will always look down on myself that i cant be as pretty, as smart, as confident as another person..
What i really want in life is success in studies, gaining that confidence which i really lack and well, happiness that comes from a harmonious family, great frens and that one relationship that lasts..yet, u see, it cant be possible if i dun believe in myself..and how am i supposed to believe in myself? argghhh..this sounds so deep that i get confused myself. damn lar. why do i always do this to myself?
diana..
*twinKLes
aka Chandini..
*i haf to be happy...
;
10:29 PM :)
