already yesterday was such a cork-up, todae was like no better.. =(
yesterday was my FYP's presentation was such a letdown.. well..cos i had a minor cork-up during my part for the presentation..and subsequently, Q and A sealed my grp's fate that our FYP was like a major failure..esp for me, cos well, most of the questions were like..aimed at me..and imagine having that feeling that the 7 lecturers who attended the presentation do not seem to understand what the heck was explained..
i really dunnoe whether to laugh or cry.. hahax...
niwaes, met up with mas after fyp presentation..and laughed over a cup of awesome ice-cream..haha..those kind of moments should be done more often..haha..let my tudung down..hahaha...
and i was supposed to have a great outing today with a certain someone..but he cancelled at the last minute cos his bike needed servicing..kurang peh asam! haha..and then someone smsed me..
who else?
yan.
saying of what recently happened to him. and that he needed my help.
sigh again.
why cant these kind of guys just avoid me like plague?
sigh.
and well, was listening to some jiwang songs and started to cry. why? cos i was just like thinking..how awesome isit to be loved, cherished, treasured, missed, taken care of...and why cant i feel it? why isit always so temporary..? and then i feel like i lost more.. ='(
and whenever this happens, someone would remind me that zan is there, yan is there..but think about it, if i had wanted to fall for any of them, i wud haf a long time ago..not now..
and then i would rethink again that i dunnid love now..
haha..
and then that is that...
someone commented again that i nid to stop perah minyak, or stop being irritating lar..
and i cant help thinking that if i change, it wont change anything. seriously. i have tried so many things but, its all in vain..so yeah..i seriously think i dunnid to care abt all this now..
but, thank god for the dinner just now with family..at least a change of mood..hahax..it was a simple dinner at Bisro Delifrance to celebrate sister's bdae! haha..had an awesome array of food and also many2 pics which i am not gg to upload yet..haha..
so yeah...that is all for today..hahax...
diana.. *twinKLes
;
12:10 AM :)
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
dear bloggy..
each day i smile, i laugh, i chat, i join in all the activities just to distract myself. just to make sure no one is worried about me. just to show that i am okay. but deep down i am not. deep down i am always worried about my sis, about my studies..
its easy to shrug it off or laugh it off..but its sumthing that keeps hanging on at the back of my mind..begging me to solve it..to ease the pain and the burden...
sigh..
one day it will all be over insya'Allah..
and when it does, the real Diana would be twinkling again! =D
but currently, Eminem, make me smile..hehe..
diana.. *twinkLEs
;
10:30 PM :)
Monday, January 25, 2010
dear bloggy..
i had thought that my sister's problems have already been solved ages ago..but it seems now that it was never over..it was just how my sister kept all the feelings bottled up before finally after all the pressure cannot be kept in then she explodes and in the midst of her exploding, hurt everyone in the family.
i seriously do not understand why is her mentality is so corked-up, why can't she be mature and why can't she stop blaming others for everything?
sigh. I am at my wit's end with my sister. seriously. i care for her so much, but she mistook it for me being sarcastic. it is very very irritating.
she doesnt know that behind her, when i do talk abt her to my friends, i was always full of praises although sumtimes its mixed with disappointment becos my sister does not realise this. she keeps thinking i am putting her down when i am not. she just has that sick idea that i am always trying to shut her out from my life. she keeps thinking i think of her as sumone who is so bad, good-for-nothing, etc2 when i dont think so. it hurts me alot whenever she accuses me of all that. and the bigger problem is that, when i try to explain, she doesnt want to listen.
sigh.
and now the matter is getting bigger cos it now involves the whole family. it must feel weird to have 5 ppl against one person...and i know my sister feels helpless and horrible..but i dunnoe how else to talk to her..i have practically given up..but now that i get to noe that my aunt is trying to get into the problem, i think that there might be something that can be done..
i really hope all this will end soon. its affecting every single person in the family. =(
diana.. *twiNKLes
;
3:42 AM :)
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Dear Bloggy,
Currently, I am suffering from 'Report Fatigue'..What's that? Some might ask, well..it is when someone suffers from fatigue when pressured to do reports that are due every single week! Hehe..Well..I have two reports that are currently on my mind...One is none other than my Final Year Project (FYP) while the other is my Hybridoma Formal Report; based on 2 experiments done during practical.
But, I have to thank having this busy schedule since I do not spend my time thinking about other mundane, non-important stuff such as BGR..I have really had it with guys and based on my needs which is more important than my wants, I realised that I do NOT NEED guys... =) so for now, SINGLEHOOD please! and for those guys who have rudely intruded into my life, scarred my heart and left me to cry, SHAME ON YOU! for being a sweet-talker, seducer, men of no promises..etc2...i refer this to: Shukri, Adi and..anyone else for doing that to me..
And to hurt your ego more, I would not give you the pleasure to see me hurt or cry..In fact, I am going to smile and laugh at your face (if ever I get the chance since I know you are cowards to face me! =D)
Lastly, my computer and telephone are having problems so it would be some time till I regularly update my blog...