* ETCHES *
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
dear bloggy..
Exam fever is here! and just yesterday i haf finished my Basic Instrumental Analysis paper yesterday! Forgetful as usual, i forgot my calculator! hehe..i was panicking and really about to cry but thankfully a fren of mine could lend his calculator to me..hehe..*thanks isma and lutfi!
the paper was not that difficult as i had expected so well, i felt quite relieved..
and hmm...fri is my Anatomy and Physiology Paper..ahahx..quite interesting to read up but full of facts and details to remember..am already starting all the revisions so that all the papers wont cork up that much..ahhaax..
niwaes, i noe that the past few days i am like...having so many things inside my mind..
family problem - still trying to get over it. but talked abt it.
relationship problem - ITS HISTORY! wif azmi i mean. hehe.
examination problem - solving it bit by bit. no giving up man!
however, i got to noe that 3 other guys like me..*haha. + yan who has just gotten back from NZ. still hasnt changed* and well...to tell u the truth, i feel kinda strangled wif all the attention..
i cant stand I's obsessiveness.
He cant stand the fact that there are other guys that like me. and he just cant trust me. well, cos like today, i went out to haf lunch wif syaz..and he kept insisting that i am meeting another guy when i wasnt. and when i got tired and said: 'yeah..i am meeting a guy..' he felt hurt and was disappointed wif me..urgh...and well, i was honest to him in the sense that i told him that there are other guys who like me..and well, i wud respect it if he gives me the time and space for me to get to noe the rest too..but it doesnt seem to me that he understands cos well, whenever i am talking wif Z, he wud always sms me..and when i dun reply he will call me..he cud call me up to 15 times just for me to reply to him..URGH! irritaiting tau..and syaz doesnt seem to like him..and i am beginning to dislike him although he is not such a bad guy...but he does remind me abt azmi..ahahx..
Z is diff i must say..diff in race and language..but i find him interesting as he has the same interest as me..Sciences but in a more specific branch which is marine biology..whereas i am more interested in botany..ahahx..i like him based on his maturity and the way he respects girls..interesting yeah? and he really gives me an inspiration to excel in life..thanks Z! will always remember all ur advice..he did say he likes me..and well, i dunnoe how things wud turn out in the end..but like he said, he will give me the time and space during my exams n then mayb aft my exams he wud bring me out to see his reserach work! sumhow i am excited abt it..hehe..
lastly is K..and K is more familiar wif my frens as my melayu frens have met him and kinda like him..he is also of diff race and willing to learn more abt our religion and stuff like that..although he is cute, but i cant find him to be of a long-term material..well, he scares the hell out of me as he kept treating me like a patient..well, he got to noe i haf problems and he keep insisting me to talk to him abt my problems..its not that i dun want, its just that i dun trust him enuf to tell him abt my problems..and i dun want to bother him wif mine..and the more he kept asking me to meet him, the more i feel strangled too...cos he once said that i shud try to make time for him if i wanna be wif him...
but doesnt he understand that i am very committed to my other stuffs..for example my silat club, my volunteering activities and also my SIFE competition..? ishk..i really need sumone who understands all these, can give me support and also time and space for me to pursue those stuffs which i love to do..its not as though i am begging anione for their money and time...and yesh..it wud take sum time for me to trust and let myself to truly introduce myself to sumone..
so pls my dear frens...
pls stop calling me a playgirl, or a girl who is like always falling in love..cos i am not falling in love animore..it sickens me whenever ppl keep calling me names..and also when they say that i like ALOT of guys..like HELLOOOOO..i do like guys and i am honest abt it thats why i always talk abt it..but LIKE is not = to LOVE. get it? i might like GUYS in UNIFORM, another guy from SP and a few other guys whom i got to noe of..but it doesnt mean i will fall for them rite?
i really dun get it why..esp my silat frens...think so...
and i would really prove to them that i am not like what they think..but i prefer to be my own self..so i might act like a guy, being brash and rude at times, and gawk at every guy that pass by, but i will be true to one person when the time comes...cos i expect that person to accept me cos of who i am..what for do i want to act to wat the society expects to see from me.. when its not my true self? well..for eg, wif me wearing tudung, frens or acquaintances find it weird i hear to techno, likes to talk brashly and sumtimes act like a guy..ahahx..
like wat i always say: 'AKU PUNYE PASAL LARRR!!'
so yeah..
ahahx..
diana..
*twinKLES
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2:09 PM :)
