* ETCHES *
Sunday, August 2, 2009
dear bloggy..
this post will only be dedicated to that one person whom i once cared and cherished so much..u know who u are and i just dun wanna name u cos u dun deserved to be named..
when u first met me, u said i was sweet and u are lucky to have met me..u said that u just cant help feel happy and excited each time i contacted u..and on the 11th of April, u got onto one knee and said that you will nvr leave me, will always love me and take care of me..u were the one who said that even if mas is pretty or sweet or whatever, you love me and not her..
BUT WHY MUST U THROW IT ALL BACK TO MY FACE AND TEAR MY HEART APART?
do u know, u must be one of the most EVIL, HEARTLESS guy i have ever met in my life..i thought that azmi was bad enuf..but u are worst, cos u made me hope, fall for u, sacrificed practically everything for u..AND WHAT DID I GET IN THE END? hurt, pain, anger, disappointment, embarrassment..
how could you ever ever ever compare me to another person? it was bad enuf u compared me to dayah once upon a time by saying that i shud be as religious as her...but u did it again on the 29th July..by comparing me to MAS! MASSSSSSSS???!! after that time u assured me that u and mas had nothing to do with each other after i got to know abt ur past history, i believed u..but getting to know that u said that MAS is prettier and sweeter than me really hit me in the gut..when i heard that from not oni Mas but also from Audi, that was the last straw..
that was why i asked for the break-up..cos i cant believe that u said that to her...and i cant ever believe anything else that u haf ever said to me..
now i keep questioning whether whatever you have ever done for me isit sincere? or was it just a farce to cover up for your feelings for other girls? sigh..you cant imagine how much i haf cried or how much pai i haf gone thru..
you said i didnt understand you and i broke my promise..
what do u mean by me not understanding you? i think, not many girls would have stick to you if they had a chance..you were married to your work and well, i was warned beforehand abt it but what i didnt expect is your indifference towards whatever i msged you..other gfs would have complained that they feel neglected and didnt have the chance to talk to u when it is their right to do so..but me, i was so afraid to call or msg you cos i didnt want to disturb you or trouble you..
and you said i didnt understand you? well..the reason i didnt msg u as often as i did was cos i was pissed off at u..i felt as though u didnt even care if i msged u or not..i dun believe in sumone being too busy that they cant spare a few minutes to reply..i thought u hadnt noticed that i didnt msg u as often but u did..so well..that kinda opened up my heart during our last conversation..but well, i guess we were just not meant to be..
you also didnt understand me..u didnt understand what the hell i was gg thru..maybe the part that my studies were slackening cos of u was true..but if u had known, u wud haf put in more effort to know why i was gg thru it and help each other through these trying times..seriously, sumtimes i feel as though i haf a communication problem with you cos i just cant open up everything that is bottled up in my heart..
you said i broke my promise? well, you broke so many promises with me that i haf lost count..you said i broke my promise abt quitting silat aft my competition..well..yes..that is true..cos i just felt that i cud haf done better for my competition and i knew that i cud do better next yr..i am sorry okay..but u dun understand this part of my life..i love silat.its my hobby and passion..and that is the oni thing it wud ever be..i already promised umi and abi i would quit silat aft poly so well, if umi and abi can understand me, why cant you? you urself keep saying i shud lose weight and get fit..and well, silat is helping me out..silat was also the reason i get to meet you when i was still getting to know u..u shud be thankful for whatever silat has helped me..
silat has given me the opportunity to fill up my time and to enjoy myself..is that too bad? too bad that you had to say that silat makes me so busy that i haf no time for you..? pls k..whenever you ask me to meet u, and if i haf silat training, i sacrifice my training to meet you okay..so stop bullshitting and make more excuses..
i haf sacrificed so many things to make you happy.
i sacrificed my frenships with most of my guy frens..
i sacrificed my time to be with you..
i sacrificed most of my effort to help you out in any way shud u nid my help..
i sacrificed my dignity and face to make umi abi accept you..
seriously, i deserve to get mad at you.
you were so selfish to not care abt my feelings and also for my loved ones feelings..did u know how hurt dinah is becos of wat u did? i saw her expression and what i cud do was to tell her to not hate you..
maybe there is a reason behind watever that has happened..
i wont deny that..
and i am happy that we broke up now rather than later after my birthday..
thanks for the false hope and love you gave to me..and also for the effort you put in for my bdae..
no worries, i wud make a grander bdae celebration for me and my loved ones..
I DUNNID YOU.
take care and haf a great life.
diana..
*twinKLEs
ps: btw, this song is esp for you.
Rauzan and The Urban Sensation ft. Roze-Kasih mengapa.mp3 -
;
11:02 PM :)
